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Suggest Treatment For Bowel Incontinence
Question: My wife of 31 years has lost the "spark" in her sex drive and is reluctant to talk about it. I suspect the main cause of this is a condition that has developed where she has a leaky anus. Nothing outrageous but enough to stain her undergarments and occasionally her pants. This does not happen everyday.
I am sure the embarrassement of this subject has caused her to cease much of our intimacy. What can be done about this touchy subject? I was a biologist, so this does not disturb me in the least. I only want to help her and get that fun loving gal back I married. Thanks for your help.
I am sure the embarrassement of this subject has caused her to cease much of our intimacy. What can be done about this touchy subject? I was a biologist, so this does not disturb me in the least. I only want to help her and get that fun loving gal back I married. Thanks for your help.
Brief Answer:
Consultation
Detailed Answer:
Thanks very much for your question.
This is a tough subject for sure. It's clear that you care very much about your wife and want her to feel comfortable with you intimately. Let me make a couple suggestions that may be helpful.
First, it may be entirely right that she is embarrassed because of the episodes of incontinence. I agree with you this is the most likely reason. I would want to make sure however that you consider depression as a possible culprit. If she is depressed, an antidepressant can bring back people's sex drives. That's a reversible thing that could be easily treated.
Given the more likely scenario that she is self-conscious about the incontinence, the best way to approach the situation is to talk to her about it. This is not easy, but the way you show empathy for her even in your message to me is exactly the way you should approach it. Sit down with her and let her know that even though she may be embarrassed about this, you love her very much and want to be intimate with her. If you feel this is too much to take on on your own, seeking out a therapist for couple's therapy can be useful in providing a safe space for everyone to discuss their emotions with a neutral party.
I hope this was of help to you.
My name is Dr. Sheppe, and I am an XXXXXXX psychiatrist working in New York City. For a personalized comprehensive evaluation, treatment recommendations, or individual therapy, ask me at HealthCareMagic at this private link: XXXX
Consultation
Detailed Answer:
Thanks very much for your question.
This is a tough subject for sure. It's clear that you care very much about your wife and want her to feel comfortable with you intimately. Let me make a couple suggestions that may be helpful.
First, it may be entirely right that she is embarrassed because of the episodes of incontinence. I agree with you this is the most likely reason. I would want to make sure however that you consider depression as a possible culprit. If she is depressed, an antidepressant can bring back people's sex drives. That's a reversible thing that could be easily treated.
Given the more likely scenario that she is self-conscious about the incontinence, the best way to approach the situation is to talk to her about it. This is not easy, but the way you show empathy for her even in your message to me is exactly the way you should approach it. Sit down with her and let her know that even though she may be embarrassed about this, you love her very much and want to be intimate with her. If you feel this is too much to take on on your own, seeking out a therapist for couple's therapy can be useful in providing a safe space for everyone to discuss their emotions with a neutral party.
I hope this was of help to you.
My name is Dr. Sheppe, and I am an XXXXXXX psychiatrist working in New York City. For a personalized comprehensive evaluation, treatment recommendations, or individual therapy, ask me at HealthCareMagic at this private link: XXXX
Note: For further guidance on mental health, Click here.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by :
Dr. Yogesh D
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