Brief Answer:
Two causes: your mentality and wifes tight vaginal opening

Detailed Answer:
Hi
Thanks for posting your query at HealthcareMagic.

I have read your query carefully. Two main issues seem to be present: One is your own liking for fantasy (you may not be liking your wife sexually). Second issue that actually needs to be ruled out it tight vaginal opening.

First step should be to rule out tight vaginal opening. The cause may be vaginismus or rigid hymen etc. A gynecologist will be better able to help you with this. You have mentioned that you are able to pass two fingers. But a woman's vagina can dilate to even pass a baby's head. So it can dilate a lot more. If this is the cause, then vaginal dilators etc will be helpful.

Second that may be exaggerating the problem is your not getting attracted to your wife as you would towards porn or masturbation. Masturbation is little different from sexual intercourse. In masturbation, other person is not involved so you are not worried about your performance. In intercourse, other person is there, whom you have to satisfy. Her presence may cause diversion from the act and affects your relationship. Infrequent meetings in the beginning of relationship may also be the cause.

Doctors will tell all different things according to their guesses. Society and parents may frame an absolutely different opinion. All that may not be true in reality. So its better not to look for other's opinions. Best thing is to think of your wife as yourself (not different from you).

You watch a lot of porn. Intercourse in real life is not same as in porn. You ca try reducing frequency of masturbation and porn watching.

Try vaginal dilators before you try viagra. Because if you try inserting in a tight vagina, you may get hurt.

There is no need to learn intercourse from someone else. It is a spontaneous act. Spending time with each other is very important. Privacy for the act is also important.

The reason you want to do masturbation more than sexual intercourse is because of your own mentality. Thus I would advise you to withdraw from porn and masturbation. Its not that masturbation is bad, but its really not needed after marriage.

Hope it helps. Let me know if I can assist you further.

Dr Vaishalee

---

Brief Answer:
Seems erectile dysfunction

Detailed Answer:
Hi again

I am sorry to know that this condition has caused conflict in your marriage.

If the doctors have already examined her with instruments, then there is no tight vagina or vaginismus. If you have taken any tests like testosterone levels etc please let me know.

Yes you should definitely try 25 mg of viagra. It is quite successful with young people experiencing erectile dysfuction during sexual intercourse. Atleast it will help you during the first few times. Once you develop the confidence that you can it with a girl, you will be able to do it without medicines. In western countries intracavernosal injections like MUSE are also popular, but you not find them in XXXXXXX Anyways you can go for viagra whenever you see your wife again.

There is no need to go to a prostitute. You may end up getting non-treatable infections.

Q.i m never eager to do sexual intercourse but always to want to enjoy porn and masturbate. What is the problem here..
A.Mostly the cause is in your mentality. You see a person can experience sexual feelings in a variety of ways. It is ok to experience it that way. Many people feel this way. Sometimes it is due to social stigma about sexual intercourse especially in XXXXXXX culture. Even the same person who was at one time attracted to women may feel attracted to men at other times. So feelings change. Dont think that you will always stay like this. You never know when you you will start feeling attracted towards sexual intercourse.

Q.How to address my mentality please chart out plan for me.
A.In such a case, relaxation techniques are very helpful. I personally like yoga and breathing techniques (kriya) for relaxation. These are available as 5-6 day course in most cities. Cognitive behavioral therapy by psychiatrists can also be helpful. Staying away from unnecessary medicines is also important. Some medicines can cause sexual dysfunction like medicines for blood pressure, depression etc. Masturbation is normal and all men do it. There is nothing wrong in being attracted to it. Only issue is accepting the woman in your life. Perhaps going on a romantic trip will be helpful. Still if you are not able to accept her, then don't be so harsh on yourself. Accept the situation and move ahead in your life. Think about yourself first and stay happy.

Mostly XXXXXXX women can live without sexual intercourse. Still if your wife does not come back, then keep patience. In future you will find a girl that you really feel attracted to.

Hope it helps.

Dr Vaishalee

---

Brief Answer:
Viagra can have side effects

Detailed Answer:
Hello
I will answer your specific queries.

Q. Is Viagra safe medically? What is dosage required per day ?
A. Viagra works by causing dilatation of penis blood vessels. It can cause side effects due to dilatation of blood vessels in other parts of body. So the side effects are like headache, flushing of face, sore throat, increased heart rate etc. It is not taken as an everyday course. It is to be taken as 25 mg about 1 hr specifically before sexual intercourse with your wife. You should not take it for masturbation etc.


Q. Shall i test for Testesteron levels for me?
A. Get the following tests done: morning serum testosterone, prostate specific antigen, fasting glucose and lipid profile. These to be done empty stomach. See an endocrinologist and proceed for it.


Q. How to conclude that I have erectile dysfunction ? Then how i am able to do masturbation so easily and efficiently if i have erectile dysfunction there?
A. Erectile dysfunction is mostly diagnosed on the basis of medical history. Yours is erectile dysfunction for sexual intercourse with your wife. It is psychological. That is why you are able to masturbate. This is quite common among newly married young couples.


Q. What is the cure for this erectile dysfunction ?
A. Reduction in anxiety levels is the only effective cure. Until your anxiety levels lessen, you can take help of viagra.
To lessen anxiety, yoga, breathing techniques help. Cognitive behavioral therapy also helpful. So first try yoga and breathing techniques. If that does not help then add cognitive behavioral therapy.

Q. what are its causes in my case?
A. In a young man, cause is mostly psychological. But we have to rule out low male hormone (testosterone) levels. We also need to rule out high cholesterol etc that may be a risk factor.


Q. What do u think she will come back or what ?
A. It depends on the attachment between two of you. In XXXXXXX it is not very easy to go away from marriage. So chances of her coming back are more.


Q. We want to have baby now at any cost . But she is not ready for IUI. How to proceed?
A. IUI is a safe procedure and is done by gynecologist. Before going for IUI, you can try depositing your semen high up in her vagina by yourself. There are good chances of pregnancy with this technique too.


Q. Please refer somebody who can really help me in Pune?
A. Firstly you need to see an endocrinologist for checking your hormone levels. I am not aware of doctors in XXXXXXX as I am based in XXXXXXX In my opinion you can go to any reputed corporate hospital near your place and they will be able to help.


Q. In my case, whether it is erectile dysfunction or mentality issues? How to overcome them ?
A. Your is a case of erectile dysfunction, most probably due to mentality (psychological). But we need to rule out other causes as well. Treating the cause is mainstay of treatment.


Q. Please tell me detailed plan of action and how much time it will take to solve this issue now?
A. Firstly get tested for the above tests. See an endocrinologist.
Then keep some viagra tablets with you to take when you see your wife. Dont take it in routine.
Thirdly do a 6 day course on yoga and breathing techniques. Relax.
Forth step is to see a psychiatrist for cognitive behavioral therapy.

Time taken to resolve this issue depends on the cause. Mostly it happens within weeks to months.


Q. I m not eager to do sex with wife.. how u can say that it will cure over the period of time.
A. For example, you dont like a particular shoe one day. But you may start to like that same shoe some other day. Similarly you may not like sexual intercourse today but you may like it at a later date or with a different woman. You never know.

Worry will only make it worse. Please dont worry. You are not alone and many newly wed couples deal with this issue.
Relax and you will see that all pieces will fall into place.

Dr Vaishalee

---

Brief Answer:
Most tests are normal

Detailed Answer:
Hi

Most tests are normal and is reassuring but still some tests are missing i.e morning serum testosterone, prostate specific antigen and lipid profile.

Kindly get these done as well.

Dr Vaishalee

---