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Suggest remedies for low libido in partner

Answered by
Dr. Saddiq Ulabidin

General & Family Physician

Practicing since :2011

Answered : 2065 Questions

Posted on Tue, 21 Mar 2017 in Sexual Health
Question: I want to know what I can do to help my fiance' have a complete sexual relationship with me
without having to get me into the act and then him having to masterbate to finish by himself.
Answered by Dr. Saddiq Ulabidin 2 hours later
Brief Answer:
Foreplay can slowly and gradually be increased to overcome the anxiety

Detailed Answer:
Hi! Thanks for sharing your concerns with us. We will try to help you in best way possible.

First of all, it is sad to know what you and your partner had been experiencing lately. Based on the history you have shared, yes it can either be psychological stigma or physical stressor that is leading to the current limitations that you people are facing.

It's better to have him evaluated first with EKG and chest and cardiovascular examination to rule out any physical cause towards the breathing problems that he has mentioned and if needed some baselines may be needed. As sexual activity may increase bodies sympathetic drive and can leas to such symptoms.

If these turn out to be normal you can work on other aspect safely and that is motivational or psychological. I would suggest to start with a smaller and less intense foreplay and over the course of few days it can slowly be increased.

The sexual preferences and fantasies can be discussed mutually and should be respected as such to add comfort level into the activity to have a maximum pleasure out of it and that includes his preference towards maturation and other such activities. If needed a session with a psychologist or a sexual coucel can be sought but hopefully with the passage of time things will improve.

Hope this has answered your query, if you have any more questions, feel free to ask. Regards.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Remy Koshy
Follow up: Dr. Saddiq Ulabidin 16 hours later
Thank you for your response. He has been recently tested for his heart with
having an EKG and other annual workups done by his doctor. He has tested
fine and also had a stress test. It all came out good. We are both obviously
very happy about that. I appreciate your answers to my questions. I love
him very much and I know he feels the same. I think we are pretty normal
in our likes and dislikes---I just need to feel completed in the full sexual act
with him. If we can't get to that point, I will talk to him about see a Psychiatrist
to figure out why he can't complete the act with me. It is frustrating to me.
I was hoping it was something you could tell me that maybe I was doing wrong
and could change. Thank you--
Answered by Dr. Saddiq Ulabidin 22 hours later
Brief Answer:
You are considerate about his well being and that is commendable

Detailed Answer:
Hi! Thanks for the feedback. It's really comforting that all the tests you mentioned came about normal. It's good that you are so concerned about his well being and that is going to help both of you.

I must clarify here that you shouldn't blame yourself for any of these chain of events and you are already doing a lot. Minor differences in sexual preferences may exist but discussing them mutually and coming to a common solution is quite possible.

If direct discussion isn't proving to be worthy enough then involving another person who is an expert like a motivational psychologists or sexual therapist would be a good strategy.

Hope this has answered your query, if you have any more questions, feel free to ask. Regards.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Prasad

The User accepted the expert's answer

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