Question: I have a father, but he has done so much to me in the past that I haven't been able to forgive him. He was a cocaine addict for much of my youth, and it still leaves scars. I can still see the looks he would give me when I would ask him questions when he was using. About two years ago, I got really depressed. I always felt tired, and I never wanted to do anything. I get the feeling many times now, and it has caused me to miss out on opportunities in life. Which gets me feeling more down about myself and my life. When I told my mom I wanted to see a psychiatrist, she jumped down my throat and got very defensive. This is the reason I no longer talk to my family about any of my problems; they just won't be helpful and listen. I am in college now very far away from home, but I don't feel any happier, but I don't feel happy at home either. Getting back to my father, I typically start to get really fond towards older guys and older men because they feel like big brothers and fathers to me. Is it weird to do that? I also have trouble telling my dad I love him. I know he loves me but I just can't say it back to him. I keep everything bottled in because I literally have no friends that would sit down and listen. I cry almost every night, but during the day I try to hide whatever it is that is going on. Do you think it would be worth seeing a psychiatrist? Is it weird that I search for an older brother or father figure? How do I get out of this slump because its affecting my life tremendously?