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Premature ejaculation, marriage in four months. Solutions ?

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i am having premature ejaculation problem and i am going to get married in 4 months. Please provide me the solution to overcome this
Posted Mon, 7 May 2012 in Premature Ejaculation
Answered by Dr. Abhijeet Deshmukh, 7 hours later

Thank you for posting your query.

Premature Ejaculation can be a subjective experience. By definition, it means ejaculation before either of the partners are satisfied during the sexual intercourse. However, satisfaction does not mere depend upon the sexual act after penetration. The whole sexual experience starting from foreplay to post-orgasm period has to be satisfactory. In this regard, you may need to consider a few facts.

1) One of the commonest causes for Premature Ejaculation is anxiety. Anxiety about performance and anxiety about satisfying the partner can be so overwhelming that the whole focus can shift just to the orgasm. The first thing you can do is reduce / eliminate this anxiety.

2) Most men start their sexual activities with masturbation, which is usually practiced in a hurry when alone, for the fear of getting caught. This trains the sexual organs to respond to the stimuli too early. Thus when it comes to sexual intercourse, the multiple stimuli coming from the partner lead to early arousal and ejaculation.

3) Circumcision status: Circumcised men usually take more time to ejaculate. This happens because when the penis is not circumcised, the extra skin tissue acts as added stimulation and the glans of the penis stays that much more excitable.

I suggest a few tips here for you to follow for the coming weeks to prepare yourself.

1) Exercise "Start and Stop" technique - You can try this while masturbating. As you start masturbating, do it in a slow and steady fashion. And when you reach to a point where you know you will reach orgasm, you have to stop. Once the wave of stimulation passes off, you have start again. You can do this as many times during one session as possible. Initially it may be difficult to hold on for a long time, but if you persist, you will see the change.

2) Squeeze technique - This is similar to the earlier technique. But here, you have to squeeze the penis just below the head of the penis with thumb and index finger, just before you feel you will reach orgasm. Do this as many times a possible.

3) Use your imagination - You have to practice focusing on the partner's satisfaction. While you are practicing these two techniques, imagine focusing on the partner.

4) The complete sexual act - You should prepare yourself with adequate knowledge about female sexuality. There are a lot of good articles about what women like about sexual intercourse and how they like it to be done. You can read a few of them, of course, from good and authentic websites. This will help you once you are actually married.

5) Eliminate anxiety - Please do not beat yourself down due to this situation. Even if you think you have premature ejaculation, you can still have a completely satisfactory sexual intercourse with your wife. You will have to focus more on foreplay and helping your partner achieve her orgasm before you achieve yours. This can work wonders.

6) Healthy life style - Needless to say, you have to look after your health and fitness. Sexual activity is a demanding physical act. You have to be fit for that. Do regular exercise, such as aerobic exercise, stretching exercises, running or jogging, etc. This will help improve the strength of your circulation and it will help with the sexual performance too.

7) Lastly, you can consider using a few medical aids during sexual activity for increasing the time. You can try Xylocaine gel to be applied on the penis. This gel will reduce the sensations on the penis and it will allow you to have intercourse for a longer period. You can try it even before marriage.

I hope this helps you a bit. Please let me know if you need more information about anything.

Take care.

Dr Abhijeet Deshmukh
Above answer was peer-reviewed by
Follow-up: Premature ejaculation, marriage in four months. Solutions ? 3 hours later
Hi Abhijeet,
Thanks for your reply. It was quiet helpful but one query, could you prescribe any tablets instead of gels. Will try to adapt the other techniques also suggested by you. Still will be better if you can suggest any pills for the same.

Answered by Dr. Abhijeet Deshmukh, 5 hours later

Good to hear from you again.

There are a few tablets known to prolong ejaculation, but you will have to consult your physician before trying them, as they are anti-depressant medications. Fluoxetine is an example of that class. Delayed ejaculation is a side effect of Fluoxetine, which is used as an anti-depressant. They may have their own set of other side effects which are unwanted in your situation.

A common trick used by many people to prolong ejaculation time during sexual activity is ejaculating about one hour before the sexual activity. Thus, ejaculation for the second time after one hour will take more time.

I suggest you consult your physician before you can think of any medicine. The techniques I have described above in the previous reply are quite beneficial if practiced regularly. Fortunately you do have enough time before marriage to start using these techniques.

I hope this helps.

Take care.

Dr Abhijeet Deshmukh
Above answer was peer-reviewed by
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