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Not Active Sexually. Getting Pain While Trying To Have Intercourse. What Should I Do?

Posted on Mon, 27 Aug 2012

Question: hi, iam 20 years old and i recently just got married, i have not had sex yet and it is really causing some problems in ou realationship. i just get freaked out by the pain and how bad its going to hurt me, is there anything i can take to numb the pain or do to calm myself and just do it! ? i know most people say dont do it if your not ready but iam positive and ready to do this. please helppp :(

Answered by Dr. Ashish Mittal (15 minutes later)

Hello,

Thanks for your query.
I appreciate your efforts for medical consultation in so much distress.

Important points of your query:
•     20 yrs old recently married female
•     Chief complaint: Anticipated Pain and Phobia from penetrative Sex
•     Relationship issues due to problem

You wife appears to suffering from the condition called vaginismus in which patient has anticipated severe pain, anxiety and phobia in intercourse. In several cases this is the result of a reflex spasm of the muscles around vagina. The reflex causes the muscles in the vagina to tense suddenly, which makes intercourse—painful or impossible.

Following steps need to be done for treatment:
•     Proper sex education: read about physiology of sex and watch sex educational video to decrease anxiety related to sex.
•     Enjoy foreplay and physical intimacy regularly without sex.
•     Involve in gradual stepwise penetration: with small to large finger or use of vaginal dilators with increasing size according to your comfort. You can also use local anaesthesia with xylocaine during dilation
•     Improvement may take time so never hurry.
•     Explain your problem to husband so that he can become supportive to you.
•     You can also take professional help from nearby psychiatrist and gynecologist.

I hope this information has been both informative and helpful for you. In case of any doubt, I will be available for follow ups.

Wish you good health.
Regards,

Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Chakravarthy Mazumdar

Follow up: Dr. Ashish Mittal (29 minutes later)

thanks so much for your answer, is there any medication i can take for the pain?

Answered by Dr. Ashish Mittal (21 minutes later)

Hello again,

Thanks for follow up

You can use local anaesthetic (to apply in vagina and surrounding area) like xylocaine during dilation or intercourse.

For other medicines, you first need assessment by nearby psychiatrist and gynecologist.

Please accept my answer in case there are no further queries and recommend our services to your friends too if you have found it helpful.

Wish you good health.
Regards.

Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Chakravarthy Mazumdar

Follow up: Dr. Ashish Mittal (4 minutes later)

ok, ps this is the first time iam going to have sex, so can i still use the medication?

Answered by Dr. Ashish Mittal (4 hours later)

Hello again,

First try to have physical relation without medicine and then use medicine if required.

Please accept my answer in case there are no further queries and recommend our services to your friends too if you have found it helpful.

Wish you good health.
Regards.

Note: For further guidance on mental health, Click here.

Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Chakravarthy Mazumdar