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Need Advice On Toilet Training. Child Does Potty Outside Toilet. Is There Any Problem?

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Posted on Fri, 7 Sep 2012
Question: I need advice on toilet traning for my 3 yr old child. She tells me when she wishes to go to toilet and goes to the bathroom but does not do it there. She then comes out and then after 5 min, does it outside the bathroom. Any conventional method like turning the tap on is not working out and even repeated telling to the kid that toilet needs to be done in the bathroom is working. Is there any problem here or it is a matter of habit. If it is a habit, can you please advice on what needs to be done.

I am putting the baby diaper on to her only at night so that she does not get disturbed at night sleep as in the morning time she goes to a playschool. No other time I am putting the diaper on her.
doctor
Answered by Dr. Hema Yadav (2 hours later)
Hello XXXXXXX
Thanks for posting your query.
There is no unusual problem with your kid and this is a very common problem encountered during potty training.I understand your concern as a vigilant parent and appreciate your efforts.
You are right in minimising diaper wear and I dont think that is causing the problem.
However in order to give you specefic and better advice kindly send me few details as below,
1 When did you start toilet training your child.
2 Has she ever done potty in toilet and if yes have you rewarded her for that.
3.Does she indicate if she has to urinate or defecate and how much time can she hold her urge after indicating.
4 Have you bought a potty chair for her or used any other specefic method.
5.Is she anxious or afraid when going to toilet or hearing the flush.
Mostly it takes months of patient reassuring efforts by parents, to fully train kids.
So dont lose hope.
Awaiting your response,
Regards
Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Chakravarthy Mazumdar
doctor
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Follow up: Dr. Hema Yadav (23 hours later)
Hello Dr. XXXXXXX

Please find my answers below.

1 When did you start toilet training your child.
- A year back I initiated it first. But then minimized the diapers only 3 months back.

2 Has she ever done potty in toilet and if yes have you rewarded her for that.
- Very few times. Yes surely.

3.Does she indicate if she has to urinate or defecate and how much time can she hold her urge after indicating.
- Yes. She tells me "Mummy toilet" and goes into the bathroom. She then plays with water in the bucket and comes out. Within next 10 minutes, she does her toilet outside the bathroom and then goes again inside to wash her legs.

4 Have you bought a potty chair for her or used any other specefic method.
- Yes. I have bought her a potty chair. But she does not want to use it.

5.Is she anxious or afraid when going to toilet or hearing the flush.
- No. She does not seem so...Looks like she is not comfortable releasing the toilet. So, I used conventional methods like turning the tap on and leaving the water so that it diverts her attention . But it was of no use.

Regards,
XXXXXXX.
doctor
Answered by Dr. Hema Yadav (1 hour later)
Hello ,
Thanks for the details.
Let me tell you that you have done well till now and have appropriately tried to potty train your daughter.The difficulty faced by you is a common problem as the child hesitates or is not comfortable at straining for stools and during this gets easily distracted so the urge for toilet passes away only to return after few minutes when she has already left the toilet.
Its difficult for anyone to make a child sit for such prolonged time in the toilet or to make her rush through the straining or releasing her stools.
However you may try the following tips for better success.
1.Toddlers learn by imitation, and watching you use the bathroom is a natural first step.
2.Maybe your child needs to get used to the idea of using the potty. Start by letting her know that the potty chair is her very own; you can personalize it by writing her name on it or letting her decorate it with stickers. Then have her try sitting on it with her clothes on. After she's practiced this way for a week or so, you can suggest she try it with her pants down.
3.Nothing helps your toddler figure out when she needs to go like letting her spend some time bottomless. Put the potty in an accessible area while she plays, and encourage her to sit on it at regular intervals. Watch for signs that she has to go (jumping up and down in place, clutching her legs together, or swaying from side to side), using these cues to suggest it's potty time. You can do this on several consecutive days, in the evenings when the family is all together, or just on weekends. The more time your child spends out of diapers, the faster she'll learn.
4.If your child has a favorite doll or stuffed animal, try using it for potty demonstrations. Most children enjoy watching their favorite toy go through the motions, and may learn more this way than from you telling them what to do.
5.Always praise and reward her whenever she does potty in toilet or potty chair.
If she is uncomfortable on potty but can squat in toilet make her do that again and again every few minutes whenever she indicates the urge.In between you may bring her out but remind her that she has to go back in for releasing the potty in the chair or toilet seat.

As with any other skill, the more she uses the potty, the better she'll be at it. But there are some things you can do to make it easier for her. Dress your child in loose-fitting clothes that she can easily take off herself, or buy panties a size too big. If she still has trouble with the concept, don't overreact or punish.
She will undoubtedly have a few accidents, but eventually your daughter will know the accomplishment of getting her stools in the toilet. Celebrate this moment with fanfare. Reinforce the idea that she's reached a significant milestone by rewarding her with a "big kid" privilege such as watching a new video or getting an extra bedtime story. But try not to make a big deal of every trip to the toilet or else your child will start to feel nervous and self-conscious under the glare of all that attention.
Time and patience are the only sure solutions to this problem.
Also sometimes increasing the intake of water and fibre XXXXXXX diet like fruits and XXXXXXX vegetables help in softening the stools and easing their passage in kids.
Hope I have answered your query
Wishing you all the best.
Regards

Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Chakravarthy Mazumdar
doctor
Answered by
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Dr. Hema Yadav

Pediatrician, Infectious Diseases

Practicing since :2005

Answered : 1528 Questions

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Need Advice On Toilet Training. Child Does Potty Outside Toilet. Is There Any Problem?

Hello XXXXXXX
Thanks for posting your query.
There is no unusual problem with your kid and this is a very common problem encountered during potty training.I understand your concern as a vigilant parent and appreciate your efforts.
You are right in minimising diaper wear and I dont think that is causing the problem.
However in order to give you specefic and better advice kindly send me few details as below,
1 When did you start toilet training your child.
2 Has she ever done potty in toilet and if yes have you rewarded her for that.
3.Does she indicate if she has to urinate or defecate and how much time can she hold her urge after indicating.
4 Have you bought a potty chair for her or used any other specefic method.
5.Is she anxious or afraid when going to toilet or hearing the flush.
Mostly it takes months of patient reassuring efforts by parents, to fully train kids.
So dont lose hope.
Awaiting your response,
Regards