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My Husband Of 20 Years Has Always Exhibited Strange Behaviors.

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Posted on Fri, 24 Aug 2018
Question: My husband of 20 years has always exhibited strange behaviors. He is highly educated, dedicated dr but at home within 10 mins of coming his behavior changes. In his personal life he has 1 friend and that gentleman goes thru all the work to maintain they're relationsshs. He has no close interpersonal relationship with anyone. In contrast to being beloved ny his patients, he is really racist, cold and lacks empathy( especially towards me and my son). He has no bond with our son and never has. He showed mild interest and quick temper with him growing up. My son has been in therapy for 5 years dealing writhing his issues with his father my son and I feel unloved. He writes me these amazing cards on holidays that don't resemble the reality I live in. He is unpleasant to live with. He never smiles or laughs. The littlest gthings become big deals and everything is always my fault. He lied to me about getting therapy for a year. When I caught him and pressed him on the issue he lied again and said he was doing therapy over the phone. Then he said the reason he went to therapy are gone. He has unrealistic anxiety about money which he said is the reason he agreed to therapy. He said he was doing much better now. He was supposed to get therapy to find out what's wrong with him. The issues I'm describing now. He pays so little attention to me and our son it's heartbreaking. He's not a bad man but I feel like our situation is not normal. Please help! I feel abandoned, like I can't depend on him if I really needed him, lack ( or no) intimacy between us that had left me defeated and lonely. I feel like I'm being abused but no one can see it. I somefeel like I wish he would just hit me and get it over with because whatever is happening here is far more painful.
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Answered by Dr. Ashok Kumar (5 hours later)
Brief Answer:
Seeing a couple therapist is answer to ongoing problems

Detailed Answer:
Hello,
Thanks for using Healthcaremagic.

I read your query and sorry to know that there are ongoing issues with your husband due to his cold and unloving nature especially toward family members.


You clearly mention that he is a good person and widely accepted by his patients as a good and caring doctor this becomes very important to talk to the person before making judgements.


In addition I have the information from one person only and no direct information available from your husband I think it will not be easy for me to understand the problem comprehensively.

In my opinion seeing a couple therapist is answer to address these ongoing problems. The counsellor will be happy to talk to both of them separately and jointly to understand the problem and may suggest something to resolve the issues. In some states they call themselves as marriage counsellor so when you search for the options please look for both kind of experts in your area.

I hope this helps you.
Feel free to write back to me if you have more questions.
Thanks and regards.


Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Yogesh D
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Answered by
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Dr. Ashok Kumar

Psychiatrist

Practicing since :2000

Answered : 3329 Questions

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My Husband Of 20 Years Has Always Exhibited Strange Behaviors.

Brief Answer: Seeing a couple therapist is answer to ongoing problems Detailed Answer: Hello, Thanks for using Healthcaremagic. I read your query and sorry to know that there are ongoing issues with your husband due to his cold and unloving nature especially toward family members. You clearly mention that he is a good person and widely accepted by his patients as a good and caring doctor this becomes very important to talk to the person before making judgements. In addition I have the information from one person only and no direct information available from your husband I think it will not be easy for me to understand the problem comprehensively. In my opinion seeing a couple therapist is answer to address these ongoing problems. The counsellor will be happy to talk to both of them separately and jointly to understand the problem and may suggest something to resolve the issues. In some states they call themselves as marriage counsellor so when you search for the options please look for both kind of experts in your area. I hope this helps you. Feel free to write back to me if you have more questions. Thanks and regards.