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Mental stress. God fearing, disturbing thoughts of future, loneliness, fear of love, over weight. How can I help myself?

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I am XXXXXXX 23 years old.Past 5 years i have been undergoing mental stress.I want a permanent solution for my problem please do help me.

this is when i was 18....
my principal's son was mentally retarded and we all used to feel very bad for that.One day we were discussing about that and one of my friends told like if one does sin god punishes them by giving such children. That affected me very badly. I assumed that what if i give birth to such children and there started my mental stress. from that incident my life style totally changed i strarted crying for every thing.i was even scared of god to even look at him.some bad thoughts used to come to my mind while praying to god and i used to think god might punish me because of such thoughts while praying him.days passed my parents took me to many temples,mosques and churches but there was no result.i finished my school and i had very bad holidays suffering with so many problems of these kind like i was very much scared of god to even stand before him thinking my legs are touching him and he will punish me though i know that i have not touched him but i cried a lot imaging many in me.finally holidays were over with many days spent crying.College started and my problem changed to different problem, i became little practical about god and forgot all those things and started feeling bad for different kind of things like feeling jealous when someone studies better than me and because of these problems I scored very less marks in exams used to cry for that and i never concentrated on my studies feeling jealous on my friends who studies well.this is how my first year of my college got over with different kind of problems.And in holidays also i was not happy thinking i might fail in examinations, worrying every minute my holidays got over.And I entered my second year of my college few months i worried for results finnally got my results with good percentage and felt little better for few days and then my problem was back thing i dont have friends of my mind set and my life is getting worse, after few days i got friends , i liked them but used for feel for the things that happened like nobody is looking at me while speaking and thinking that i am not great i felt very bad and finished sem.Then next sem i could not study well i felt subjects were tough and so could not study and that was my problem in that sem.Next sem even though i have so many friends, i used feel lonely thinking someone is missing in my life. i used to talk well with everyone but was not happy inside thinking that some one is missing in my life and finished that sem got more affected by loneliness though i had many friend invited me to his sister marriage .I went there i was so impressed by him the way he treated us and responsibility he had and i saw his love towards his sister all that disturbed me a lot.and i started thinking about him.He started to send me forwards which were not so interesting but i used to reply with smileys and our conversation started that way.It was me who started liking him first and used cry if he doesnt send me forwards that was my problem in that age.days passed and he used to message me rarely i used to wait for his messages not talking to anybody.I dint feel anybody interesting other than him but i never message him because of my ego.I used to wait for his forwards.I used to reply for all his forwards but he rarely replies to mine.when he doesnt reply to mine i used to cry "ONLY THING I KNOW ON THIS EARTH IS CRYING".Only one moment when i was happy at that time was the time when he messages me.I felt he was very interesting but i dint know that was my problem at that almost killed me.I know my family conditions and they dont agree for love marriages.even then i could not stop loving him.I used to pray god asking him for not to increase my love towards him.I used to beg him but nothing worked we got committed soon.I was very happy at that time thinking that god gave me better choice after suffering for a long time was very happy for few days was enjoying life.. but that happiness dint stay for long time,those were last days of my college,everybody was sad for leaving college but i never felt sad as i was thinking of bad memories i had in college.I started fighting with him for very silly reasons,he is of cooling minded could not understand what i am expecting from him,even i could not understand what is making me fight.finally colege got over and we went back to our hometowns.With litlle fights our life was ok and then we got our joining date from company and i was vey happy that i can enjoy with him,there started my problem,i used to cry for every thing he does,i know his heart he never misbehaved me before we got committed,it was me who went behind him,but i used to doubt him knowing all this and used to cry,and the best thing is if i cry i will feel better and start forgetting things.He liked me more when ever i cried and he loved me more and more.but i mistook knowing everything about him,At present i am in a position which is making me more troubled.His voice is very low ,i like people having loud voice knowing that i fell in love with him but that became my major problem now.I started comparing him with my other friends who has loud voice and tourches him that he doesnt have good voice.he was helpless he is very joveal and he is not bothered about that.I started crying for that and that made be look at this negative things of him,he has curly hair which i started hating,recently he broke very small part of his front teeth,and i started crying looking at his teeth thinking he looks bad with broken teeth, when ever my other friends speak fluently i started feeling bad for him that he doesnt have good communication skills,many are my imagination but i am not able to help,i put on weight recently which i dont like,i started losing my hair,i feel i look bad and compare me with everybody and cry,now i feel like dieng with so many problems on my head,my parents want me to get married with the guy they see, i cry for that,when i think of his negative things i feel like marrying but after some i cry for thnking like that,sometimes i cry for loving such guy,so may thoughts follows,now i came to know that this is my problems and have no solution for this:(:( i feel bad for spoiling his life along with my life ...................................................................................................................
Posted Wed, 27 Jun 2012 in Mental Health
Answered by Dr. Ashish Mittal 8 hours later
Thanks for your query.

It is nice to see such a nice and detail description of problem. I also appreciate your efforts for medical consultation in so much distress.

Your repetitive fear related to god appears to obsessional thought. Obsessions are seen in obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD).

OCD is a type of anxiety disorder and frequently associated with generalised anxiety disorder. If these disorders are not treated early they can lead to depression because of distress and dysfunction.

Common symptoms of anxiety disorders: anxiety, nervousness, restlessness, mild irritability, excessive worry regarding own wellbeing, tremor, muscle spasm, heaviness in body, easy fatigability, palpitation, sleep difficulty and dry mouth. Many of your complaints may match with this.

Anxiety is associated with excessive worry related health, family and survival. In your case you are having excessive worry related to your friend. Type of fear differ patient to patient and depend on childhood development & knowledge. If anxiety is severe (like in your case), then excessive worry and anxiety do not removed only by reassurance and treatment from specialist become necessary.

As you were not treated for several years, because of that you are leading towards Depression. Believe me peoples life changes within few weeks after treatment.

You need treatment with psychiatrist to treat your anxiety and worries. It is not clear if you received any treatment in past. As you are having multiple symptoms then combined treatment in form cognitive behaviour therapy and drug therapy will be best in your case.

In drug treatment two types of medicine used. For immediate relief of anxiety benzodiazepines group of medicines are used and for long term relief most commonly SSRI (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors) are used. SSRI takes around 3-4 weeks to show its effect and cognitive behaviour therapy also takes weeks to show its effect.

I hope this information has been both informative and helpful for you. In case of any doubt, I will be available for follow ups.

Wish you good health.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by
Follow-up: Mental stress. God fearing, disturbing thoughts of future, loneliness, fear of love, over weight. How can I help myself? 10 hours later
I am scared of taking such treatments feeling they might had many side effects.... and if it affects my health later..???
Answered by Dr. Ashish Mittal 1 hour later
Hello again,

Thanks for follow up,

Medicines come in market when they have more effects compare to side effects. Side effects are not apparent in every patient. If benefit is more than risk than it is better to continue.

Excessive fear of medicines may be due to anxiety. In my opinion treatment will change your life. So, do not worry and visit nearby psychiatry as soon as possible. Even if you are not willing for drug treatment currently, you can discuss your problem with them and it will help in decision making.

Please accept my answer in case there are no further queries and recommend our services to your friends too if you have found it helpful.

Wish you good health.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by
Follow-up: Mental stress. God fearing, disturbing thoughts of future, loneliness, fear of love, over weight. How can I help myself? 5 hours later
Can u please suggest me with any other options other than going to hospital
Answered by Dr. Ashish Mittal 4 hours later
Hello again,

I can understand your concern.
You can visit visit nearby clinical psychologist for cognitive behaviour therapy (a form of counseling treatment).

Please accept my answer in case there are no further queries and recommend our services to your friends too if you have found it helpful.

Wish you good health.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by
Follow-up: Mental stress. God fearing, disturbing thoughts of future, loneliness, fear of love, over weight. How can I help myself? 13 hours later
Okay.. Can you suggest me good doctors in chennai. I know XXXXXXX hospital is good. or else you suggest me some good doctor
Answered by Dr. Ashish Mittal 3 hours later
Thanks for follow up,

Half battle is already won as you have decided to go for treatment. Many of our patient, after improvement, repent their decision to come late for treatment.

Please check following XXXXXXX link for psychiatrist in your area (Chennai).
Psychiatrist should have MD or DPM degree. It is a PG degree in psychiatry.

Please accept my answer in case there are no further queries and recommend our services to your friends too if you have found it helpful.

Wish you good health.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by
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