Question: My relationship with my parents isn't anywhere near what I would like it to be. I feel like I can't be an adult around them. They are extremely judgmental, and I turn into a kid every time I am around them. My mother is harsh with her words and often makes me feel stupid. I have tried to cut them off emotionally, but I always find myself coming back to them. It's like I can't stay away. I care far too much about what they think of me.

My relationship with my husband used to be wonderful. After marriage, we moved far from my parents, because I knew if I were close to them I would be influenced by them, and I just wanted to be myself. They've never said it, but I don't think they like my husband because he is a different ethnicity. My parents aren't necessarily racists, but they are more comfortable around their own race. Especially my mom. I actually would maybe call her racist, except she does have friends that are other races, so it confuses me.

About three months into the marriage I started to become manic. I didn't know at the time. I just noticed that I wasn't sleeping, and that I was acting very different. I spent money like crazy. I mean everyday I was shopping. Long story short, my behavior caused us to lose our home. I would do that again two more times.

My parents blame my husband. They seem to think that I wouldn't have gotten this bad if he were a "real man." They seem to have a real problem with the fact that my husband is a writer. When I'm well enough, I am the traditional breadwinner. He stays home and writes. Sometimes he sells what he writes, sometimes he doesn't. It works for us. My parents criticize him, and I know for a fact

my dad criticizes him to my grandmother, because she has made comments to me. I wish I could just ignore them all, but it bothers me. I just want to make everyone happy.

I forgot to add that I think the past five years has severely strained my relationship with my husband. I wasn't diagnosed until a year ago, and even then I went off medication and lost us another home. He tells me that he forgives me, and that he loves me, but I see that he is tired and that he doesn't know if it's with it to be with me anymore. I keep quitting my jobs, and spending money, so I'm not very reliable. He is trying to finish his degree while writing, and he is thinking about leaving the program and taking care of us. I know it's the right thing to do while I get better, but I just feel awful because he's so close to being finished, and it is all my fault. That breaks my heart.

We have discussed it, and I think he is trying his best to understand. However, at the same time I know he doesn't really. He is trying so hard, and that's what upsets me the most about my parents, because they have NO IDEA what I have put him through. I tried to explain it to them when I was diagnosed, and my parents just kept saying, "Well a real man would stand up to you. He wouldn't let you get your way." It really upsets me that they continue to insinuate that he isn't a real man. I know for a fact it is hard to deal with me, and at any point he could've left but he didn't. I think that is a real man. He is doing his best to handle me. I'm just so worried that he's going to get tired of putting up with me, and I'll lose him.

He fully supports medicine. He told me that he just wants me to do whatever is best for me. I have tried to cut my parents off before, and they make me feel like I'm an idiot, or like I'm doing something wrong.

I am currently unemployed. I spend most of my day surfing the Internet or watching TV. I have a DBT workbook, and I occasionally do some of the worksheets.

My husband would like me to seek out and stick to treatment. I have started treatments before and quit. He would like to see me actually continue treatment and get better. He would also like me to decide on a career that I love and would like to pursue. I am constantly switching, and that frustrates him.

I think my next best step is to take part in therapy, and resume medication. I think that is the only way to achieve the goals that I would like to achieve.

I think I leave because I start to think that I'm better. I feel like I have the tools to upkeep what I've learned in therapy, but that isn't the case. I always end up relapsing.

The second time that I was admitted to the hospital for mania, I was there for two weeks. I had therapy everyday, both group and individual. I really liked that. I loved having a schedule everyday. I liked participating in art therapy, multiple groups, etc. I loved the structure that I had.

When I left, I wanted to find something as intensive that was outpatient. Everything was so expensive. I ended up just doing traditional once a week therapy. At a certain point I felt that I was well enough and stopped going.