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Dr. Andrew Rynne

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How to handle inappropriate sexual behaviour in a child?

Answered by
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Dr. Deepak Kishore Kaltari

General Surgeon

Practicing since :2002

Answered : 3191 Questions

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Posted on Fri, 8 Aug 2014 in ADHD
Question: My daughter came up to me yesterday and told me my tenants daughter was trying to touch her in a bad way, that it has been going on since kindergarten. She said that she tries to kiss her neck and face and even on her lips and touches her butt. She tried to touch my daughter's vagina but she stopped her. We have been having problems with this girls for about three years now and had an intervention with her family and it was decided that they were not to play together, a week later my daughter tells me that. How should i handle this. I did have a talk with her mother, this girl has many problems, one of them being that she poops herself and leaves it there and doesn't care that she smells and she steels and lies. I am so angry i need some guidance on how to handle this
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they are both 9 years old and they have been living in my apartment since pre-k. they use to get along fine and then the little girl started to change. We have caught her stealing from us and she flat out lies. To be honest she scares me a little bit, I worked in special ed for seven years and she reminded me of the crack babies I use to work with, it's like she has no conscience

My daughter also said that she was humping her and the other girl asked her if she likes it. I'm so proud of my daughter to trust me and tell me this, when I spoke to this girls mother her first response was that my daughter was lying, that her daughter is never alone with anyone, I'm 100% sure that my daughter didn't lie, she would never make something like this up, they still live downstairs and we are going to give them one month to get out, I want them out now if i can

My main concerns are: should I call CPS and let them know what this girl has done. I'm also concerned about the fact that they still live here, i want them out as of yesterday. I did ask my daughter if she wanted to talk with someone, she said that she feels better since she talked to me. My daughter said she was having nightmares and trouble sleeping because of this. I'm so upset and want to do the right thing for my family, also I'm not sure how to proceed
doctor
Answered by Dr. Deepak Kishore Kaltari 6 hours later
Brief Answer:
Emotional support from family is required

Detailed Answer:
Hi
Welcome to Healthcare-Magic
Greetings of the day

Dear Ms

Thanks for providing the detailed history. I encounter many such cases.
Children during their development between age group of 5to 10 years of age usually develop interest in body anatomy. They explore themselves either by touch or kissing or other children of same age group.
At present all your daughter needs is emotional and moral support from family. Do not confront anyone. There is no need to get agitated. Patience pays a lot. Do not let your daughter play with others, just a matter of 1 month.
If your daughter appears to be depressed still more, I would suggest you to consult Child Psychiatrist or child counsellor.

Do get back to me if you need any further assistance, will be glad to assist you.


Take care

Best regards
Dr Deepak kaltari
MBBS, MS, MCH
Consultant Pediatric Surgeon
Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Chakravarthy Mazumdar
doctor
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Follow up: Dr. Deepak Kishore Kaltari 15 hours later
This child that my daughter was playing with lives in our apartment. I know that kids get curious, but it's not just that, she tried to kiss my daughter, hump her and she touched her own vagina and told her that this is how you do it, this has been going on since kindergarten. I don't think this child is doing normal behavior, she also poops herself and leaves it there and steels and lies, my husband had to have her empty her pockets when she left my house, since then she hasn't been allowed in my house, She has also told my daughter that she has been in our house when we are not there and that she cut my daughter dolls hair because she was mad. I already confornted the mother and just told her what my daughter said, you think these are just normal developmental behaviors?

i do have patience i think too much. If I had known this was going on since kindergarten i would have never let this happen. It wasn't a one time thing, this child has lied to my face numerous times and has had poop in her pants and lied and said she doesn't then goes in our bathroom and there is poop everywhere. The school has cintacted this girls mother many times and I have had other parents come up to me and tell me how scared they are of this child, I have heard on numerous occasions of her mother and gram hitting her repeatably on the butt over and over again, with the child screaming. I need to know if this situation should be reported
doctor
Answered by Dr. Deepak Kishore Kaltari 11 hours later
Brief Answer:
It needs to be reported

Detailed Answer:
Dear Ms

Going by your present description this does not sound normal development behaviour.

This are likely to be manifestation of child abuse she is facing at the hands of her mother. These incidents definitely needs to be reported as any physical violence in any form against the child is not to be tolerated

Take care

Best regards
Dr Deepak
Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Chakravarthy Mazumdar
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