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How do i stop having constant sexual urges?

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Practicing since : 2004
Answered : 1851 Questions
Dear doctor,

My name is Sachin. I am a male, 34 years old. I have a good job and a satisfied family,personal and sexual life.

But im addicted to sexual pleasures. Anytime of the day my sexual desire shoots up. At that time i want to have sex desperately. I think of nothing else than a woman. I keep playing with my nipples and stroke my penis, afraid at the same time if anyone would see me or something.
Few times i masturbate in my pants. The urge then stops for some time. An then it starts again.
During this sexual urge, I sneak out of the office and search for some body massage centers where i could find a woman.
Also due to this sexual urge I go on to various chats finding woman for oral sex.

Now it is becoming more frequent. I dont know what to do about it.

I know this will ruin my life. This is bad. This is cheating. But im unable to find a way out of it.

I go cycling in the morning. I do poojas to request god to keep me stay out of this but invain

Please help me. I want to get rid of it :( and concentrate on my job and purpose of life.

Can you please propose some medicines on it?

Please help me
Posted Fri, 27 Apr 2012 in Men Sexual Problems
Answered by Dr. Ashish Mittal 9 hours later

Thanks for your query.

Important points of your query:
•     Chief complaint: Sexual urges and distress with these urges
•     Risk of social complication and sexually transmitted illness because of illness

After reading your case two possibilities come into my mind:
1. OCD (excess, leading to anxiety, restlessness and palpitation (awareness of own heart beat). Same time patient would regard these thoughts his own and absurd in nature. Anxiety related to these thoughts relieved by doing action related to thoughts which is called compulsion.

2. tension in body till the patient would act.

So where do your condition fit better?

Answer me following questions:
•     Do you enjoy sexual thoughts or these thoughts distressing to you and whenever you try to stop these thoughts it causes increase in anxiety?
•     Do you have excessive doubt related to cleanliness and wash hand repeatedly?

•     Is there inner urge to do sex or you involve in sexual act to relieve your anxiety?

Awaiting your reply to continue the discussion.

Above answer was peer-reviewed by
Follow-up: How do i stop having constant sexual urges? 2 days later
Dear Doc. XXXXXXX Mittal,

Thank you very much for your detailed answer. Ill start answering your questions One by one.

1) First of all it is a mix of OCD and ISD. OCD occupies almost 70% and ICD is about 30%. That means, i do have anxiety when i have repetitive thoughts about sex. My concentration at work is lost and hence i loose my valuable hours of work thinking of sex.
I control the ICD factor as much as possible. Sometimes though it is impossible for me to control the ICD. So then i venture out to search for massage centers. Here I get my body massaged and urge for female massage therapist. Then i urge for a private massage. Shed money on it. Eventually satisfy my urge while she does a handshake. Then i feel very ashmed of myself and go into depression that day. After this episode the urge goes down but shamelessness and depression takes control. IN OTHER WORDS, I LOOSE MY CONCENTRATION AND VALUABLE HOURS ON THIS ACT.

I will answer your questions now -

• Do you enjoy sexual thoughts or these thoughts distressing to you and whenever you try to stop these thoughts it causes increase in anxiety?

Answer. That is very correct. They are distressing. I do have anxiety attacks in which my palpitation increases. My Blood pressure also was shooting up during these times. I was so worried about it. I consulted a cardiologist but he prescribed me BETA BLOCKERS like METALOC XL 50 to decrease the palpitation.
Eventually i did all the blood tests recently and found out that there is nothing to worry about. After that the palpitation is controlled but it happens. Whenever palpitation occurs, i at least know it is not something physcial but mental.
So also if there is some bad incident in my personal life, I turn to these sexual habits.
I used to masturbate from the age of 16 itself. I have sexual urges from then but i used to keep them in control. But recently some bad incidents happened in my personal life, because of which my anxiety increased. So to avoid these thoughts i turned to this habbit. No this habbit is also increasing my anxiety and palpitation.

• Do you have excessive doubt related to cleanliness and wash hand repeatedly?
No no , i dont do that.

• Is there inner urge to do sex or you involve in sexual act to relieve your anxiety?
Good question. It is mostly due to relieve my anxiety and help me able to concentrate in work. Sometimes its an inner urge to do sex.
I KNOW this is all very bad. I hail from a very respectable family and i have a job to do.

Also i had joined "ART OF LIVING" Classes in XXXXXXX 2011. Since then i have been doing breathing exercises like SUDARSHANKRIYA. Also i cycle in the morning. But recently all this has become irregular due to excessive masturbation during the night.Im drained out because of this.

Doctor, I need your help to come out of these things. I know there are enormous beautiful things in life besides this one. I want this habbit to limit it to my bedroom only.

I hope this detailed mail will give you directions for your future therapy.

Awaiting your reply.

Thanking you in advance

Sachin Doke
Answered by Dr. Ashish Mittal 5 hours later

Thanks for further information.

So, with your description it is clear that you have both symptoms related to OCD and ICD.

Regarding treatment I would like to give following information:
• In pharmacological management several drugs are used and currently most commonly used medicines belong to SSRI group. It is better to consult your psychiatrist to decide which drug is best for you considering other parameters.
• Continue breathing exercises as it decreases anxiety
• In non-pharmacological management aversion therapy and exposure and response prevention (ERP) are used, but trained therapist is needed to administer these therapies.

Sometimes symptoms do not decrease with 1 drug and then its dose need to be increased or drug need to be changed after few weeks of use. Drug will also take around 3-4 weeks to show its effect, so you need to have patience and compliant to treatment for best results.

Hope this will help you.

Wishing you Good Health.

Above answer was peer-reviewed by
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