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    How can one manage severe depression and anxiety due to a broken relationship leading to suicidal tendencies?

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Posted on Tue, 18 Jun 2019 in Mental Health
Question: I have been taking Zoloft/Sertraline for about five years for depression, first it was work related depression,
got totally screwed over when I should not have and it caused me a lot of grief I stayed in a bad situation to long, I know that. But now the man I love with all my heart is in my life, in my house, says he loves me, but is not really with me, and for two years has basically told me if I change this or that he will and he is not changing nothing and only says he cares, never really truly shows me, again he is the love of my life, I don't know why but I don't want to live without his love anymore, and I don't have it at all. My depression is out of control, I think I am crazy and lost my mind because I don't know what is true anymore, I don't understand why he don't love me I have given him everything, he has needed since he has been around, he does not have a job, but he has a daughter, and I love her too and always make sure she has what she needs. I threw him out a couple of times and he always comes back saying he loves me and if I would just be this or that for sometime now he tells me everything I do wrong and I mean everything. But I am wondering why I cant stop loving him and am I crazy or not, because he says I am and I know my depression medicin is not working anymore because I cry everyday, and always am thinking about killing myself I took a bunch of zanax one night, just slept, I went to sleep with a bag on my head nothing, I pulled my car in the garage and had it running for hours, He got home before... I loaded my gun and bullet in the chamber I could not pull the trigger, to messy and painful, I have rope, I sliced my wrist a couple times with scissors, I am so sick of having pain in my heart and giving and showing love and all I get from him is words, it does make me want to die, I had everything I needed good job, home, grandkids, all I was missing was love and if I could have chose one man to come back to me from the past it would have been him so why am I messing this up all the time, why can't I chill out it is progressively getting worse, my job is also been suffering because I can concentrate or think clearly, I am 90% hearing loss and have had hearing trouble all my life my communication skills suck, even with hearing aids I often can not follow every word, so I don't have but a few people in my life and I have pretty much run them off too because I am so ashamed and embarrassed. What do I do, just get my meds fixed, go to psych ward ruin my life.. and /or just end it and is it so wrong to want to end it when you feel beyond broken, lost, and alone and realize it is not ever going to change because my favorite person in the world does not show me he loves me. I know you are not suppose to put you happiness in someone else's pocket and yet I did and I feel like he is planning on leaving so then I become so emotional I just can not stand it suggestions please
doctor
Answered by Dr. Ornela Ademovi 7 hours later
Brief Answer:
Suicide is never the answer

Detailed Answer:

Hello,

I can only begin to imagine your situation and admire your strength in struggling with depression for a long time and am content to notice that you see a great part of the solution resting with improving relations with loved ones. Depression is a condition a large numbers of people find themselves in today, and there are many approaches and techniques to deal with it and hopefully overcome it.

Our existence is not limited to our mental sphere and we can always try to expand our awareness about so many dimensions of our life that have their due rights.

It is usually helpful to start with appreciating the things that function in our life and seek support from those near, all the way to specialized help.

Ending your life, while an enticing thought, is never the answer to anything. You have come so far, so it would be a shame to end your admirable strength and struggle in an abrupt way. Please keep going. There is always light at the end of the tunnel, however impossible it may seem. You will eventually see it. Just hold on.

You seem to have lead a life that was structured and fruitful, but, alas, you seem to have lost your way by landing yourself in a toxic relationship. You desperately want it to work and you have identified the said person as your mirror, but, alas, he is not a mirror. Rather, he is just a random piece of glass in which you have been trying in vain to see your reflection. No wonder you are depressed, your reflection is distorted. He does not reflect back the person you are and the love you deserve.
Dependence on particular individuals is often a sign of a lack of a wide enough vision of things in life, and another person who knows you well enough could help in reconnecting you with the aspects of your existence that have always meant a lot to you, and draw strength and above all self-esteem from there.

Negative thoughts can worsen when we speed through and fast forward to imaginary scenarios of fear, loss and abandonment in life, which create a sense of emergency in wanting to release ourselves from these debilitating pressures.

I recommend you try to identify and adopt techniques of focusing on what goes well in your life and act only based on facts and actual interactions with people, not on irrational fears.

I hope this helps. Wishing you all the best in life.

Regards,
Dr. Ornela Ademovi
General & Family Physician
Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Prasad
doctor
Answered by
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Dr. Ornela Ademovi

General & Family Physician

Practicing since :2004

Answered : 738 Questions

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