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How can one deal with infidelity and suspicious behavior from a partner?

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Posted on Fri, 18 Dec 2020
Question: ill start over. My wife of 20 years has never had a g spot orgasm. Last week she referred to how she reacts when she has one. I stopped her and before I could ask %E2%80%9Cwhen was this%E2%80%9D her face quickly changed. I%E2%80%99ve had a gut feeling she may be having an affair for the last year. I%E2%80%99m a very secure guy but something seemed off. After her verbal slip about her orgasms, which I apparently missed, I downloaded her texts and found conversations with her telling a friend to %E2%80%9Cvault%E2%80%9D info referring to inappropriate conversations with her and other males at work. I also found similar texts about her high school ex who is now a buisness man, going to her office to meet her boss. She also told her friend to %E2%80%9Cvault it%E2%80%9D and never let me know. I%E2%80%99d hate to end the relationship but I%E2%80%99m not naive. She cheated on me when we were first dating and stuck to her lie all the way up until the other guy was at her apartment door asking to come in. While married that same guy called my house and I walked in on their conversation and she actually told me to leave because he was on the phone. This caused us to almost divorce but we worked it out. So, now I%E2%80%99m dealing with this odd stuff again and believe she would never confess due to her history and the likely consequences. What%E2%80%99s your advice?
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Answered by Dr. Ornela Ademovi (2 hours later)
Brief Answer:
Marriage counselling

Detailed Answer:
Hello,

As a family physician, I would advise that it is important to have an open, transparent and sincere conversation with your wife about the issue before making any hasty decisions. Not because there are many possible outcomes, as there are obviously very few, but in order to get to the bottom of the causes of this problem and enable your wife to make an honest decision with regards to marriage and her commitment therein.

A marriage counselor will be able to assess the validity of her claims and the prospects of continuing a healthy and dedicated marriage. So I strongly recommend you talk to your wife and agree on seeking out counselling for the benefit of this relationship.

I hope this helps.
Wishing you a happy and healthy life.
Take care.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Prasad
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Answered by
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Dr. Ornela Ademovi

General & Family Physician

Practicing since :2004

Answered : 733 Questions

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How can one deal with infidelity and suspicious behavior from a partner?

Brief Answer: Marriage counselling Detailed Answer: Hello, As a family physician, I would advise that it is important to have an open, transparent and sincere conversation with your wife about the issue before making any hasty decisions. Not because there are many possible outcomes, as there are obviously very few, but in order to get to the bottom of the causes of this problem and enable your wife to make an honest decision with regards to marriage and her commitment therein. A marriage counselor will be able to assess the validity of her claims and the prospects of continuing a healthy and dedicated marriage. So I strongly recommend you talk to your wife and agree on seeking out counselling for the benefit of this relationship. I hope this helps. Wishing you a happy and healthy life. Take care.