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Hello Doctor, I Am Male,27 Years, Married. My Wife Has

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Posted on Thu, 28 Mar 2019
Question: Hello Doctor,

I am male,27 years, married.
My wife has a mild form of vaginismus. We visited the gynecologist and she recommended to use dilators. Initially, it was quite difficult for her to insert tampons, smallest size dilator, vaginal suppositories applicators etc.

After a few days, she was able to insert the dilators up to the mid-size (there are totally 5 sizes and mid-size is average) and said there was no pain. She asked me to insert the dilators which up to the size she has trained.

But when I tried to insert my penis into her vagina, it was extremely tight. How much ever I push I felt there seem to be no way or space at all. I felt a stinging pain on the top of XXXXXXX (near the uretheral opening) and then I lose erection immediately.

Is this a common transistion problem between dilators to intercourse? Does transistioning from dilators to actual intercourse take time? Are there are some suggestions to do this transistion?
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Follow up: Dr. Dr. Ashok Kumar Choudhary (0 minute later)
Hello Doctor,

I am male,27 years, married.
My wife has a mild form of vaginismus. We visited the gynecologist and she recommended to use dilators. Initially, it was quite difficult for her to insert tampons, smallest size dilator, vaginal suppositories applicators etc.

After a few days, she was able to insert the dilators up to the mid-size (there are totally 5 sizes and mid-size is average) and said there was no pain. She asked me to insert the dilators which up to the size she has trained.

But when I tried to insert my penis into her vagina, it was extremely tight. How much ever I push I felt there seem to be no way or space at all. I felt a stinging pain on the top of XXXXXXX (near the uretheral opening) and then I lose erection immediately.

Is this a common transistion problem between dilators to intercourse? Does transistioning from dilators to actual intercourse take time? Are there are some suggestions to do this transistion?
doctor
Answered by Dr. Dr. Ashok Kumar Choudhary (8 hours later)
Brief Answer:
Allow her to relax during intercourse by use of distraction

Detailed Answer:
Hello,
Thanks for using Healthcaremagic.

I read your query and well aware of the problems encountered by you during intercourse.

First of all I am glad to know that she is able to accommodate mid size dilators without any significant pain. However the transition should be delayed by few weeks or till she can manage with larger than average size dilators. This is important because the firmness of dilators and penis is quite different and it is always better to use larger size dilator than the penis size of partner.

It is also important to inform you that before attempting insertion of penis distract her with one or more thing such as kissing, fondling, caressing, fooling around vagina for longer time.

It is also important to manage your stress under control so there is no loss of erection on getting frustration out of her problem.

I hope this helps you.
feel free to write back to me if you have more questions.
Thanks and regards.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Prasad
doctor
doctor
Answered by Dr. Dr. Ashok Kumar Choudhary (0 minute later)
Brief Answer:
Allow her to relax during intercourse by use of distraction

Detailed Answer:
Hello,
Thanks for using Healthcaremagic.

I read your query and well aware of the problems encountered by you during intercourse.

First of all I am glad to know that she is able to accommodate mid size dilators without any significant pain. However the transition should be delayed by few weeks or till she can manage with larger than average size dilators. This is important because the firmness of dilators and penis is quite different and it is always better to use larger size dilator than the penis size of partner.

It is also important to inform you that before attempting insertion of penis distract her with one or more thing such as kissing, fondling, caressing, fooling around vagina for longer time.

It is also important to manage your stress under control so there is no loss of erection on getting frustration out of her problem.

I hope this helps you.
feel free to write back to me if you have more questions.
Thanks and regards.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Prasad
doctor
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Follow up: Dr. Dr. Ashok Kumar Choudhary (44 hours later)
Thanks for your answer doctor. As instructed we are planning to try large size dilators a few days to get comfortable with the size before trying actual intercourse.
Due to the anticipation of pain for me or for my wife, I lose erection at times and sometimes I gain back and sometimes I don't.
Is it advisable to take erection maintenance pills like Viagra for a few days until we are comfortable with actual intercourse? What dosage is preferable in that case?

Thanks
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Follow up: Dr. Dr. Ashok Kumar Choudhary (0 minute later)
Thanks for your answer doctor. As instructed we are planning to try large size dilators a few days to get comfortable with the size before trying actual intercourse.
Due to the anticipation of pain for me or for my wife, I lose erection at times and sometimes I gain back and sometimes I don't.
Is it advisable to take erection maintenance pills like Viagra for a few days until we are comfortable with actual intercourse? What dosage is preferable in that case?

Thanks
doctor
Answered by Dr. Dr. Ashok Kumar Choudhary (1 hour later)
Brief Answer:
Can be taken for time being

Detailed Answer:
Hello,
Thanks for follow up.

Since the issue comes under category of psychological erectile dysfunction I feel there is no harm to use lower dose of erection maintenance medication. All the available medications in this category are prescription only medications and should not be used without proper medical supervision.

In such patients I often prescribe 25 mg viagra or 5mg of Tadalafil.

I hope this answers you.
Feel free to write back to me if you have more questions.
Thanks and regards.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Chakravarthy Mazumdar
doctor
doctor
Answered by Dr. Dr. Ashok Kumar Choudhary (0 minute later)
Brief Answer:
Can be taken for time being

Detailed Answer:
Hello,
Thanks for follow up.

Since the issue comes under category of psychological erectile dysfunction I feel there is no harm to use lower dose of erection maintenance medication. All the available medications in this category are prescription only medications and should not be used without proper medical supervision.

In such patients I often prescribe 25 mg viagra or 5mg of Tadalafil.

I hope this answers you.
Feel free to write back to me if you have more questions.
Thanks and regards.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Chakravarthy Mazumdar
doctor
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Follow up: Dr. Dr. Ashok Kumar Choudhary (2 days later)
Thanks for your suggestion doctor. I will try to get a prescription from GP for the same, stating the issue.

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Follow up: Dr. Dr. Ashok Kumar Choudhary (0 minute later)
Thanks for your suggestion doctor. I will try to get a prescription from GP for the same, stating the issue.

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Follow up: Dr. Dr. Ashok Kumar Choudhary (3 minutes later)
Apart from taking medications like viagra, are there some natural techniques to avoid stress/ anxiety during sex?


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Follow up: Dr. Dr. Ashok Kumar Choudhary (0 minute later)
Apart from taking medications like viagra, are there some natural techniques to avoid stress/ anxiety during sex?


doctor
Answered by Dr. Dr. Ashok Kumar Choudhary (10 hours later)
Brief Answer:
Having positive attitude is helpful

Detailed Answer:
Hello,
Thanks for follow up.

Having faith in oneself and maintaining positive attitude despite the otherwise is key to get success in such scenarios. As stated above low medicines are often recommended because they help to maintain/elevate the self esteem.

Understanding the psychology behind the psychogenic erectile dysfunction is also very important as it helps us to avoid triggers.


I hope this answers you further.
Thanks and regards.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Raju A.T
doctor
doctor
Answered by Dr. Dr. Ashok Kumar Choudhary (0 minute later)
Brief Answer:
Having positive attitude is helpful

Detailed Answer:
Hello,
Thanks for follow up.

Having faith in oneself and maintaining positive attitude despite the otherwise is key to get success in such scenarios. As stated above low medicines are often recommended because they help to maintain/elevate the self esteem.

Understanding the psychology behind the psychogenic erectile dysfunction is also very important as it helps us to avoid triggers.


I hope this answers you further.
Thanks and regards.
Note: For further guidance on mental health, Click here.

Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Raju A.T
doctor
Answered by
Dr.
Dr. Dr. Ashok Kumar Choudhary

Psychiatrist

Practicing since :2000

Answered : 3355 Questions

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Hello Doctor, I Am Male,27 Years, Married. My Wife Has

Hello Doctor, I am male,27 years, married. My wife has a mild form of vaginismus. We visited the gynecologist and she recommended to use dilators. Initially, it was quite difficult for her to insert tampons, smallest size dilator, vaginal suppositories applicators etc. After a few days, she was able to insert the dilators up to the mid-size (there are totally 5 sizes and mid-size is average) and said there was no pain. She asked me to insert the dilators which up to the size she has trained. But when I tried to insert my penis into her vagina, it was extremely tight. How much ever I push I felt there seem to be no way or space at all. I felt a stinging pain on the top of XXXXXXX (near the uretheral opening) and then I lose erection immediately. Is this a common transistion problem between dilators to intercourse? Does transistioning from dilators to actual intercourse take time? Are there are some suggestions to do this transistion?