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Facing problems with penetration in first intercourse. Looking for suggestion

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Problems with penetration in first intercourse. Both of us are virgins. She is less aware about her vagina place. I can see the vagina opening but seems to be closed (may be hymen). So please give the guidance. We have tried 2-3 times but unable to complete the intercourse
Posted Wed, 16 Jan 2013 in Sexual Problems
Answered by Dr. Ganesh Sanap 3 hours later
Hi, welcome XXXXXXX

It is quite difficult and emotional situation. First of all make your partner feel relaxed. If she is in some soft of hesitancy then there may be involuntary contraction of pelvic muscles. It can make penetration difficult. You did not mention whether you are married or not. If unmarried a feeling of guilt will prevail and make the matters worst. Make her relaxed get the confidence in her. A foreplay will ooze some secretions which will ease the penetration. Do not force anything.

If vaginal opening is too tight then use some lubricant jelly like KY Jelly. Also try to use comfortable position for both.

If still there is too tight hymen then don't do forcefully. Consult a gynaecologist / sexual therapist for further help who can explain it better.

Hope I have answered your query.

Thanking you.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by
Follow-up: Facing problems with penetration in first intercourse. Looking for suggestion 7 hours later
I am newly married about 15 days. We tried 3 or 4 times but were not successful that some 10-12 days before. We are apart for jobs and will XXXXXXX only on weekends.She doesn't know how to guide the penis in.
She has never masturbated till now in her life. She is 27 and I am 30. I had asked her to be on top so that she can control. But she is unable to it,as she cannot find the opening to guide the penis in. What would be the comfortable position for easy penetration.

Also if the hymen is present than is the case that vaginal opening is not visible. I am totally unaware about this. Also if sufficient secretion oozes, than does the penis finds the direction in the vagina. Or is it necessary that, I should know the direction by fingering her. She is afraid if try to finger her. I really do not like to force. But her response was good in the last attempt as compared to first.
Yes, the foreplay oozes the secretion which makes the her area moist. I do not force anything also against any such action. I personally feel to respect her, but a slight penetration (just the tip), she gets frightened. Also my penis has foreskin (prepuce). Do I need to pull it back when penetrating as well as using a condom. Also can you suggest any good book which, we both can read. Also can you suggest a sexual therapist in Pune.
Is the KY jelly available in medical shops.
Answered by Dr. Ganesh Sanap 17 minutes later

Welcome back. The following are answers to your questions.

1. Comfortable position is one where you can guide the direction of penis.

2. It the frightening feeling which is making penetration difficult possibly due to muscle contraction. It is important that your partner is comfortable. You can spend more time with foreplay which can reduce her discomfort to some extent. If she isn't feeling better, then I would suggest you to consult a gynecologist for examination.

3. KY jelly is available at medical store.

4. There is a rare chance of presence of vaginal septum. It will also cause same problem. Physical examination by a gynecologist is necessary to identify it.

5. You can pull back your prepuce depending on your comfort. If it is causing pain then need to consult a surgeon to rule out phimosis.

Hope it will solve your problem. Let me know if you need further assistance.

Above answer was peer-reviewed by
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