Behaving strange. Is this personality disorder?

Posted on Mon, 13 May 2013
Question: I have been seeing this guy for 6 months. He is 43 and every time we are together the next day he is angry and starts in about how he doesn't want me and is emotionally abusive. Then 2 weeks or so later he will call or text and seems just fine and wants to get together. He does this to me over and over. He has me totally upset to the point that I can not mentally take much more even though I really like him.
Answered by Dr. Jonas Sundarakumar (1 hour later)
Hello and welcome to Healthcare Magic. Thanks for your query.

It appears that your boyfriend is going through severe emotional insabilities and and this is putting you through such emotional roller-coaster rides. It is also quite worrying to hear that he is emotionally abusive and putting you through a lot of mental tension and turmoil.

From this description about your boyfriend's nature, it is likely that he is suffering from a personality disorder, possibly a borderline personality disorder. Such kind of emotional and mood swings, alternating between intense feelings of idealizing a person and devaluaing the same person, inability to form stable and lasting interpersonal relationships, etc. are characteristics of this disorder.

Since, it is obvious that you are going through a lot of stress and mental trauma due to this relationship, my advise to you would be to seriously consider whether this relationship is worth it. Unfortunately, it may be unlikely that your boyfriend's attitude or such emotional instabilities are going to change soon.

So, it is up to you to safeguard yourself and prevent going through such emotional abuse. The more you get involved and emotionally dependent, the more difficult you will be finding it to put an end to this.

I would suggest that you think over these things seriously and also talk about this to someone close to you, like a relative or a close friend, so that you will be able to make a wise decision.

Wish you all the best.

Dr. Jonas Sundarakumar
Consultant Psychiatrist
Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Chakravarthy Mazumdar
Answered by
Dr. Jonas Sundarakumar


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