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Dr. Andrew Rynne
Dr. Andrew Rynne

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Are depression and mood swings indicative of Bipolar?

Answered by
Dr. Ashok Kumar


Practicing since :2000

Answered : 3138 Questions

Posted on Wed, 4 Oct 2017 in Mental Health
Question: Hi, I am concerned about a loved one. I am not sure if what he has is Bipolar or somesort of a personality disorder.

He takes medication daily for depression. He has said he has felt unhappy most of his life. He explained to me that when he feels depressed (on when he in this mood), it's feels like a chemical gets drined from the back of his brain. So he has been given medication. When this happens he stays in his room and cries. He sometimes take long breaks when he is at social situations and vanishes for long periods of times. He starts cycling or building something for hour and hours to take his mind off.

He is extremely intelligent but couldn't work under pressure. I have known him for sometime now and I want to be able to help him. He has a good job and he works to a daily routine that is hard to break. He almost always does things according to the mood he is in and I have to go with his terms at all times.

He will choose when and where to meet accoding to his terms. Some days he could be very nice and then he would become mean. For example he took me a trip on my birthday. He has made a cake and we went away in my car. About an hour or two later he got very mean and said he will have sex with lots of other women. I was very upset and cried. He has been telling me things about having sex with other women a lot. Once he called me at night to say he has gone on a date. Then while we were intimate he said he has had sex with another woman and he will date others.

He has told me that he likes me and then took it back saying it wouldn't work. We are extremely close but he keeps saying we don't match and yet he cannot stay away from me either. I have tried to break it off woth him many times. I was so upset and confused and then I realized he must have some kind of a disorder. People have told me has got an issue and he is insensitive to emotions of others. I do not believe that. He is very emotional but for some reason he cannot stop playing mind games where he will put me down and make me cry.

His ex girlfriend has had a nervous breakdown and she broke it off with him (I was told she got sick). He has told me that he is trying get getter. I do want to help him but I do not understand what the disorder is. He is generally very moody. Like I said he could say extremely mean things and I do not know if he is even telling me the truth about having sex with some woman he met in a bar. But I know we are extremely close and he is scard and trying his best to keep me at arms length. He couldn't let me go either.

I have tried to ignore or not react when he gets into a bad mood and I have found this works. When he is insensitive, I try to be nice yet not show him that I am hurt. That works. He has a very fixed mind and it is extremely hard to change his mind. He could also be fety unpredictable at times. He says he cannot be happy if I am hurt but he will deliberately do things to huty me. He expects me to be there for him but won't offer me anything. He has said and done some really insensitive things yet he could also be the nicest guy.

Has he got bipolar or is it someother disorder? I have seen him genuinely trying to be nicer to me. Over a year he has become a bit more open and nicer.

I am not sure what the condition is. I would want to help him but I believe he wouldn't accept help and thinks it is only depression but I do not think so. People do not like his because of his moods and insensitivity. Yet he could be generous and I heard people say he has got to change his ways. He has left me crying abruptly many many times. Not once did he hug me and said dont cry or dont be upset. I have seen him trying to stop crying or control himself when I am upset but he has always left me at those times. So I try my best not to show my emotions to him much. I heard people say he wouldn't hug others and will not be sensitive to others emotions. I think maybe he doesn't have the capacity when he gets low moods.

I am not sure the issue is bipolar or dealing with emotions. People have various theories. He is in his mid thirties and has a very responsible job but it is a routine job. He is highly intelligent and creative.

Will you be able to assit me?
Answered by Dr. Ashok Kumar 1 hour later
Brief Answer:
It could be personality disorder

Detailed Answer:
Thanks for using Health care magic.

I read your query and understand your concerns.

Although it is never possible to diagnose without personally interviewing individual but from the available description there is possibility of cluster B perdonality disorder.

To be precise I think he could be suffering with borderline as well as Narcissistic personality disorder. I assume this because there are many presentations from both personality disorder.

I hope this helps you.
Feel free to write back to me if you have more questions.
Thanks and regards.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Nagamani Ng
Follow up: Dr. Ashok Kumar 1 hour later
Thank you Dr. XXXXXXX

So it is mostly to do with Narcissistic and borderline than bipolar? I do want him to get help. He is on daily medication for his unhappy moods.

I believe narcissistic personality disorder could be one as he would not play as much if I dont react or cry. The reason I asked was tat even though we have been together for a whike now he wouldn't accept that we are and try so hard to push me. Then cries if I do leave him. I think the only way for me to be able to help him is not to react to his mind games and be strong. Once he opens up, I could ask him to see a psychiatrist. He is seeing a counselor once a month but I do not know if that is helping.

Like I said his ex girlfriend had a breakdown. Now he is playing with my emotions and he wouldn't even call me his girlfriend yet. He keeps saying he will not offer me a relationship and that he will have sex with other women. It is very hard to deal with. He wants to progress in his career but his behavior is a big barrier.

Bottomline is that I care and I want to help. I wanted to at least get an idea and confirm that his behavior is not normal and tbat he is suffering from some sort of a disorder other than depression.

Answered by Dr. Ashok Kumar 4 hours later
Brief Answer:
Thanks for your feedback

Detailed Answer:
Thanks for follow up and positive feedback.

I am glad to know that the information was useful for you. I also like to confirm that it can not be considered normal behavior and you understood rightly about the personality disorder.

If you have any further query, I would be glad to help you.
In future if you wish to ask any more questions , you can use the below mentioned link to contact me.

Thanks and regards.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Chakravarthy Mazumdar

The User accepted the expert's answer

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