Get your Health question answered in 3 easy steps
A Doctor will be with you shortly
Ask a Doctor Now
182 Doctors are Online

Alcoholic and diagnosed with hemochromatosis. Suggest?

User rating for this question
Very Good
Answered by

Practicing since : 2007
Answered : 2770 Questions
I have a husband that is an alcoholic. I left him and and am currently staying with my daughter and her family, which is unfortunate for two reasons.....He calls and texts my daughter and her husband leaving rude messages that they are hiding me out, which they are not. He is drinking and driving and I feel that by my staying, he will only worsen as believe that my staying is condoning the behavior as well as the drinking. I am happy not being around him. He has become a toxic person and myself and my two kids and son in law avoid him. He was diagnosed with hemochromatosis less than five years ago., Actually went to two oncologists which told him the same thing. Transfuse your blood and we will re-examine and monitor you......He got in screaming matches with both doctors and they both told him that his drinking will kill him. He actually drank more since this diagnosis. He has severed the relationship he had with his parents, his brother, my sister (only siblinb and relative I have left in the world), She has a protective order on him, she is dating a married man, my husband contacted her and told her about the affair one night when he was drunk, this woman also filed a stalking injunction against him. there was a point when my sister told me to "get a handle on my husband and his behavior or he is going to jail. I have been in therapy for about six months, after loss of my mother, my career, my health (which I feel has worsened over the past couple of years), I was recently diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis, multiple sclerosis, I have a calcified meningioma and my ms really flares up with the stress of living with him. He is very unpredictable. We are two completely different people, and our differences have finally come forward. He is telling me that he can't change if I don't come home. I have given him a 30 day period to clean up his act and get medical help of which he says he doesn't need medical help. I believe that physically and mentally he is a mess. where do I start, medical issues or psychological issues
should I leave my daughter's home and go somewhere else, husband recently damaged son in laws truck which will cost approximately $800.00. he has apologized and said he will pay for it, but where is he going to get the money? I have truly been so down that I have contemplated suicide, but I am doing everything I can do to help myself, he is not. please help me know that my leaving is not at all a risk to myself or my kids and grandkids
Posted Tue, 1 Oct 2013 in Drug Abuse
Answered by Dr. Srikanth Reddy 4 hours later
Brief Answer:
Both you and your husband need medical help.

Detailed Answer:
Thanks for using health care magic for posting your query.
I have gone through your question in detil and I can understand what you are going through.
Basically you both need medical psychiatric hospital and I will come one after the other. From what you have stated your husband does have alcohol dependence but along with it he as an anti social personality disorder (ASPD) as well and this combination is difficult to manage but not impossible. ASPD person lack remorse and they are not actually sorry for anything and blame others for all the wrong doings. They frequently breach other people rights and they cannot thunk and plan ahead and indulge in activities which they cannot handle later.
You have done a good thing by putting up a condition that you will be returning only if he seeks help. A person with alcohol dependence will leave alcohol when he realizes that it is a problem and that can only help when the spouse doesnt help the patient out of every problem. You should act like a saviour. You should stick to your clause and get him admitted for an alcohol rehab program and only then you may go back to him.
Secondly for you, you certainly you also need medical help. Its hard to miss out the depressive undertone in your writing and the fact that you have attempted a suicide suggests that you should be seeing psychiatrizt who would like to start on on some meds along with thetherapy you are currently on. Fluoxetine or escitalopram are good options for you.
Hope that helps.
If you have any add on query I would be happy to help you.
Dr. Srikanth Reddy
Above answer was peer-reviewed by
Follow-up: Alcoholic and diagnosed with hemochromatosis. Suggest? 2 days later
thank you for your reply. Just yesterday, after my being gone for ten days, husband contacted me and told me that last night he drank (got drunk), says that he can't do it alone, and as I had explained earlier in my prior question, The condition I gave him was 30 days sobriety, only then will I consider coming back.He was crying (which is the norm after he has tied one on the night before), and he attempted to explain it. I told him that he has regressed again, which he has not remained alcohol free for more than tree days since I left. I am currently seeing a psychotherapist, and one of the stipulations of my therapy was to seek out a stable home environment as well as attending an alanon ,meeting for family and friends, of which I have done, however I still have difficulty sharing my personal life with strangers.....Makes me feel weak and vulnerable. Therapist and I are working on that aspect of my own issues. I am a strong person, yet I feel that with the loss of my mother, loss of my job, health problems and a husband that is an alcoholic as well as a son that just returned home after hitting rock bottom, six months in jail and now has used heroine again.......Not sure that anybody could help me through this except God. I ask myself......what and where did I go wrong with these people in my life". I know I am a pushover, that is why neither one of them are taking me serious. I am having difficulty staying with my daughter, she has six children and are bursting at the seams without me here. Husband has now thrown my son out of our house, which was only going to be temporary anyway, but he is also now living at my daughters, which is now applying more pressure on me to find a semi permanent place to live. How permanent of a place should I be looking for? I am a nester and very organized and I am losing my mind without having a place of my own. I enjoy projects, love to see my success with they are completed. I wish that I had a strong male figure in my life......I don't know if I would take advice, but I know I would at least listen.........please reply if you have any suggestions for me. (I was put on fluoxetine years ago, but stopped taking them about one year ago, not sure they were helping me in any way.) My physician has placed me on 5mg of ambien , but recently told me to begin a regimen of 50-150mg of trazadone. I have slep apnea and I have difficulty sleeping even with the cpap machine.
thank you
Answered by Dr. Srikanth Reddy 14 hours later
Brief Answer:
Persistent efforts are required.

Detailed Answer:
Thanks for the follow-up query.
Its good that you are in therapy but you need medication as well. Trazodone is a good medication but you need stronger medications such as escitalopram, mirtazapine or venlafaxine. These will act better on you. Coming to your stable home arrangements, its difficult in the currant state but I think if you persist with your work towards your husband then you will soon get a stable stay arrangement.
Regarding your Husband, you should make the persistent efforts towards it. Its only when an alcoholic faces the problems, that he thinks of leaving it. At first you may feel that you are troubling him, but down under you are doing the right thing to help him out.
Hope I am able to answer your concerns.
If you have any further query, I would be glad to help you.
If not, you may close the discussion and if possible you may rate the answer for me, so that I get a good feedback.
In future if you wish to contact me directly, you can use the below mentioned link:

Wish you good health,
Kind regards
Dr. Srikanth Reddy M.D.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by
Follow-up: Alcoholic and diagnosed with hemochromatosis. Suggest? 13 hours later
should I involve the law? he sends me such inappropriate text messages and calls me the ":c" word. He came to my daughters house last night drunk pounding on the door....He does scare me. He then tells my son in law what a jerk he is for not answering the door, but there are children in the house, and last time we opened the door, the kids didn't hear him, but nonetheless, I don't want to talk to him. The only reason I haven't called the police is that I think he will get help, then he doesn';t, then he behaves like this again, then he doesn't, now he is missing work. This morning I left him a nice but strong message. I told him that I would give him your family physician, get a referral to the hospital, get evaluated and go on FMLA until you get well......otherwise, at this pace, you will lose your job. I have ms and suffer relapses often, if he loses his job, I will lose my health coverage, I told him that also.
Would you agree with that advice? see physician, get referral, go on fmla to save your job and your marriage and your life possibly?
I believe he needs inpatient treatment as I am sure the doctors he will see will agree with me. He is a risk to himself. last night he threatened suicide with four text messages. I believe that this is mental and emotional abuse. I need to get completely away from him for awhile, but yet I feel obligated to my son that he just kicked out of our house, yet I know he will be ok with my daughter for awhile.
I think that if I were to leave here, my husband would stop bothering the kids, but when I run the options by the kids, they just respond by saying "dad used to do this and send rude messages when he drank, with me in the bedroom asleep, so they don't agree that my absence would cure the texts.
You have been very insightful and helpful with this crisis in my life.
Just this last question and I will give you an excellent rating., I wish you were here in Salt Lake City as I would love to be your patient,.
Answered by Dr. Srikanth Reddy 9 hours later
Brief Answer:
Your approach is right

Detailed Answer:
Thanks for your follow-up query.
Dont worry about your follow-ups. We are here to work for you and you have every right to get the things clarified. So dont feel sorry for the extra questions, its my privilege to be of help to you!
Regarding your approach for your husband, you are right in whatt you are doing right now and you should legal way as well if it requires. Unless your husband feels that alcohol is ruining his life, he wont be motivated to leave alcohol. And as i said before, he is an ASPD as well and its is more difficult to treat such cases.
Your children are your primary family now and take care of them.
Hope that helps
Dr. Srikanth Reddy
Above answer was peer-reviewed by
Share on Facebook
Share on Twitter
Share on Google+
Question is related to

The user accepted the expert's answer

Ask a Psychiatrist

© Ebix, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
All the information, content and live chat provided on the site is intended to be for informational purposes only, and not a substitute for professional or medical advice. You should always speak with your doctor before you follow anything that you read on this website. Any health question asked on this site will be visible to the people who browse this site. Hence, the user assumes the responsibility not to divulge any personally identifiable information in the question. Use of this site is subject to our Terms & Conditions
Already Rated.
Your rating:

Ask a Doctor