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8 Years Ago, My Mom Was Going Through Menopause And

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Posted on Wed, 20 Mar 2019
Question: 8 years ago, my mom was going through menopause and around the same time by dad passed away. With these things combined, she became very opposite to how she had been her whole life. I am now trying to find a solution to help her regain normalness in her life again. She is 62 years old and lives alone with little social interaction from others. She likes to socialize but a lot of the people previously in her life have now became distant because of the way she acts. Below is the issues i'm seeing.

Every behavior pattern she now exhibits is the total opposite to how she use to be.
She is not lazy. She has motivation daily to do things around the house but is inclined to always do unnecessary chores.
Chores she will do:
     cook small amounts of food throughout the day, every day, even though she has a fridge full of food, which often goes bad but she wants to keep anyway.
     sweeps outside
     clean the floors around the house and bathrooms

Chores she refuses to do –
     clean her room / fold and organize her clothes (her queen size bed is covered in over 100pcs of clothing and has been for 3-4 years)
     throw any food away, even if it’s fermented
     put away containers etc. which she has used weeks/months ago – even though she has a lot of storage space, her counters are constantly full of items she never uses.
     Takes small amounts of food out (like 3 peanuts, 1 cookie or 5 popcorn kernels) in various small dishes and leave them out on the counter for months

Manic behavior includes:
     Talking to herself with or without people present in the area, she does this a lot.
     Talking over people in small and big groups, and never talking about the subject of the current conversation, its always about something different.
     Misunderstand conversations and then going off on a tangent with unrelated topics and talking to herself.
     Won’t hold conversations – jump from topics to topics. When we try to bring her back on track she will just ignore the situation
     Her employment history is an administrator (for 20+ years) but she will randomly bring up the following in conversation:
o     she is a farmworker - her ancestors were farmers in XXXXXXX
o     she is pest control – as she cleans the insect around the house
o     she works for AT&T – as she has a phone line in her house and answers calls


Exhibits stubbornness in her behavior:
     Refuses to run heater even though it’s snowing outside – so instead she will wear multiple layers including jackets, scarves and hats indoors
     Refuses to run the air conditioner even though its 95f outside – still wears multiple layers of clothing
     Inconsiderate of other around her – for example, temperatures climates around the house
     Ignores instructions / requests – force feeding people fermented food, refuses to carry a cell phone even when it’s absolutely required
     Refuses to take any medication by herself even though she knows there is an issue with the clicking sound in her throat. When asked about the clicking sounds she will deny
     Has no boundaries – is oblivious to reality when it comes to privacy and interjecting herself in private moments between my wife and I

The following things are triggers which result in manic behavior:
     Mentioning - Putting her clothes away/ cleaning her room
     Mentioning Her health
     Routine advice – tell her to dress properly, put things away etc.
     Doctors / Dentists
     Weather
     The word ‘Mom’

Even with her manic behavior she is very slow around the house and outdoors. She never seems to be in a huge rush. She is very careful, you will never find her rushing around the house or kitchen. She drives and handles herself in a calm manor, mainly just her beliefs and talking.

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Follow up: Dr. salah saad shoman (0 minute later)
8 years ago, my mom was going through menopause and around the same time by dad passed away. With these things combined, she became very opposite to how she had been her whole life. I am now trying to find a solution to help her regain normalness in her life again. She is 62 years old and lives alone with little social interaction from others. She likes to socialize but a lot of the people previously in her life have now became distant because of the way she acts. Below is the issues i'm seeing.

Every behavior pattern she now exhibits is the total opposite to how she use to be.
She is not lazy. She has motivation daily to do things around the house but is inclined to always do unnecessary chores.
Chores she will do:
     cook small amounts of food throughout the day, every day, even though she has a fridge full of food, which often goes bad but she wants to keep anyway.
     sweeps outside
     clean the floors around the house and bathrooms

Chores she refuses to do –
     clean her room / fold and organize her clothes (her queen size bed is covered in over 100pcs of clothing and has been for 3-4 years)
     throw any food away, even if it’s fermented
     put away containers etc. which she has used weeks/months ago – even though she has a lot of storage space, her counters are constantly full of items she never uses.
     Takes small amounts of food out (like 3 peanuts, 1 cookie or 5 popcorn kernels) in various small dishes and leave them out on the counter for months

Manic behavior includes:
     Talking to herself with or without people present in the area, she does this a lot.
     Talking over people in small and big groups, and never talking about the subject of the current conversation, its always about something different.
     Misunderstand conversations and then going off on a tangent with unrelated topics and talking to herself.
     Won’t hold conversations – jump from topics to topics. When we try to bring her back on track she will just ignore the situation
     Her employment history is an administrator (for 20+ years) but she will randomly bring up the following in conversation:
o     she is a farmworker - her ancestors were farmers in XXXXXXX
o     she is pest control – as she cleans the insect around the house
o     she works for AT&T – as she has a phone line in her house and answers calls


Exhibits stubbornness in her behavior:
     Refuses to run heater even though it’s snowing outside – so instead she will wear multiple layers including jackets, scarves and hats indoors
     Refuses to run the air conditioner even though its 95f outside – still wears multiple layers of clothing
     Inconsiderate of other around her – for example, temperatures climates around the house
     Ignores instructions / requests – force feeding people fermented food, refuses to carry a cell phone even when it’s absolutely required
     Refuses to take any medication by herself even though she knows there is an issue with the clicking sound in her throat. When asked about the clicking sounds she will deny
     Has no boundaries – is oblivious to reality when it comes to privacy and interjecting herself in private moments between my wife and I

The following things are triggers which result in manic behavior:
     Mentioning - Putting her clothes away/ cleaning her room
     Mentioning Her health
     Routine advice – tell her to dress properly, put things away etc.
     Doctors / Dentists
     Weather
     The word ‘Mom’

Even with her manic behavior she is very slow around the house and outdoors. She never seems to be in a huge rush. She is very careful, you will never find her rushing around the house or kitchen. She drives and handles herself in a calm manor, mainly just her beliefs and talking.

doctor
Answered by Dr. salah saad shoman (8 hours later)
Brief Answer:
Personality disorder

Detailed Answer:
Dear sir, I have gone through your question and I understand your concerns but unfortunately it seems that the loss of your father along with the hormonal disturbances of menopause has triggered a mental illness of your mother. Her behaviors mostly fit into the category of obsessive compulsive disorders.. I would recommend that she gets a psychiatric evaluation and start psychotherapy along with cognitive behavioral therapy as soon as possible. According to her psychiatric evaluation it should be decided wether she will need medical treatment by selective serotonin inhibitors or not. I hope you find this helpful. if you don’t have any other clarifications then please close the discussion..
Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Nagamani Ng
doctor
doctor
Answered by Dr. salah saad shoman (0 minute later)
Brief Answer:
Personality disorder

Detailed Answer:
Dear sir, I have gone through your question and I understand your concerns but unfortunately it seems that the loss of your father along with the hormonal disturbances of menopause has triggered a mental illness of your mother. Her behaviors mostly fit into the category of obsessive compulsive disorders.. I would recommend that she gets a psychiatric evaluation and start psychotherapy along with cognitive behavioral therapy as soon as possible. According to her psychiatric evaluation it should be decided wether she will need medical treatment by selective serotonin inhibitors or not. I hope you find this helpful. if you don’t have any other clarifications then please close the discussion..
Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Nagamani Ng
doctor
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Follow up: Dr. salah saad shoman (18 hours later)
Thanks for your reply, we have tried numerous times to take her for an evaluation but she refuses and continues to believe she is fine. Is there anything i can do at home to help her improve her habits or mental status? What else can you recommend we do. Also, please comment on your experience with Abilify and if the dosage according to her weight and profile is adequate.
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Follow up: Dr. salah saad shoman (0 minute later)
Thanks for your reply, we have tried numerous times to take her for an evaluation but she refuses and continues to believe she is fine. Is there anything i can do at home to help her improve her habits or mental status? What else can you recommend we do. Also, please comment on your experience with Abilify and if the dosage according to her weight and profile is adequate.
doctor
Answered by Dr. salah saad shoman (28 hours later)
Brief Answer:
Depends on the severity of symptoms

Detailed Answer:
Dear sir, hello again.. I would recommend that you ask for a psychiatric evaluation to be done at home by a doctor who is pretending to be a friend or so.. and based on the evaluation the dose of the drug and treatment plan is decided.. I would recommend that she starts by medications and once she starts to improve , she might accept the idea of psychotherapy.. the dose of ability starts by 15mg once daily. I hope you find this helpful
Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Nagamani Ng
doctor
doctor
Answered by Dr. salah saad shoman (0 minute later)
Brief Answer:
Depends on the severity of symptoms

Detailed Answer:
Dear sir, hello again.. I would recommend that you ask for a psychiatric evaluation to be done at home by a doctor who is pretending to be a friend or so.. and based on the evaluation the dose of the drug and treatment plan is decided.. I would recommend that she starts by medications and once she starts to improve , she might accept the idea of psychotherapy.. the dose of ability starts by 15mg once daily. I hope you find this helpful
Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Nagamani Ng
doctor
Answered by
Dr.
Dr. salah saad shoman

Internal Medicine Specialist

Practicing since :2004

Answered : 3153 Questions

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8 Years Ago, My Mom Was Going Through Menopause And

8 years ago, my mom was going through menopause and around the same time by dad passed away. With these things combined, she became very opposite to how she had been her whole life. I am now trying to find a solution to help her regain normalness in her life again. She is 62 years old and lives alone with little social interaction from others. She likes to socialize but a lot of the people previously in her life have now became distant because of the way she acts. Below is the issues i'm seeing. Every behavior pattern she now exhibits is the total opposite to how she use to be. She is not lazy. She has motivation daily to do things around the house but is inclined to always do unnecessary chores. Chores she will do:  cook small amounts of food throughout the day, every day, even though she has a fridge full of food, which often goes bad but she wants to keep anyway.  sweeps outside  clean the floors around the house and bathrooms Chores she refuses to do –  clean her room / fold and organize her clothes (her queen size bed is covered in over 100pcs of clothing and has been for 3-4 years)  throw any food away, even if it’s fermented  put away containers etc. which she has used weeks/months ago – even though she has a lot of storage space, her counters are constantly full of items she never uses.  Takes small amounts of food out (like 3 peanuts, 1 cookie or 5 popcorn kernels) in various small dishes and leave them out on the counter for months Manic behavior includes:  Talking to herself with or without people present in the area, she does this a lot.  Talking over people in small and big groups, and never talking about the subject of the current conversation, its always about something different.  Misunderstand conversations and then going off on a tangent with unrelated topics and talking to herself.  Won’t hold conversations – jump from topics to topics. When we try to bring her back on track she will just ignore the situation  Her employment history is an administrator (for 20+ years) but she will randomly bring up the following in conversation: o she is a farmworker - her ancestors were farmers in XXXXXXX o she is pest control – as she cleans the insect around the house o she works for AT&T – as she has a phone line in her house and answers calls Exhibits stubbornness in her behavior:  Refuses to run heater even though it’s snowing outside – so instead she will wear multiple layers including jackets, scarves and hats indoors  Refuses to run the air conditioner even though its 95f outside – still wears multiple layers of clothing  Inconsiderate of other around her – for example, temperatures climates around the house  Ignores instructions / requests – force feeding people fermented food, refuses to carry a cell phone even when it’s absolutely required  Refuses to take any medication by herself even though she knows there is an issue with the clicking sound in her throat. When asked about the clicking sounds she will deny  Has no boundaries – is oblivious to reality when it comes to privacy and interjecting herself in private moments between my wife and I The following things are triggers which result in manic behavior:  Mentioning - Putting her clothes away/ cleaning her room  Mentioning Her health  Routine advice – tell her to dress properly, put things away etc.  Doctors / Dentists  Weather  The word ‘Mom’ Even with her manic behavior she is very slow around the house and outdoors. She never seems to be in a huge rush. She is very careful, you will never find her rushing around the house or kitchen. She drives and handles herself in a calm manor, mainly just her beliefs and talking.