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Temper loss due to personal problems - Online Doctor Chats

Date : 13-Jan-2012
User rating for this question
Very Good Posted in: General Health
Answered by

General & Family Physician
Practicing since : 2005
Answered : 2408 Questions
Doctor :   hi
Doctor :   how can i help u
User :   Hi
User :   Doctor I am very much upset
Doctor :   what happened
User :   I have lsot control over my temper
User :   and I keep thinking the bad experiences
User :   which has developed a feeling of hatred in my heart for some people
Doctor :   ok
Doctor :   what makes u think so
User :   By nature I am a very calm and composed person
Doctor :   ok
Doctor :   For health purposes I need this information--Age: Gender: Occupation: Location: Marital Status: User :   Married
User :   I have 1 yr baby also
Doctor :   ok
User :   actually this change in me happened during the pregnancy
Doctor :   ok
User :   Female - S/w eng
User :   Age : 27
Doctor :   ok
Doctor :   how long u have this problem
Doctor :   did u see any doctor for the same
User :   When I got married - I used to be very positive and love was like my life's ambition
User :   not yet
Doctor :   ok
User :   I used to do thehousehold work whole heartedly
Doctor :   ok
User :   and kept thinking that I m doing my best.
User :   I got a job in Bangalore after 6 mnths of my marriage
Doctor :   ok
User :   I came here earlier than my husband and my m-in-law
Doctor :   ok
User :   I searched the house and set up the whole house alone before they came
Doctor :   ok
User :   the things were sent by movers and packers
Doctor :   ok
User :   I was doing all this with love and care
User :   and unconditionally
Doctor :   k
User :   But from the very begining I observed that my m-in-law nature was very different
Doctor :   ok
User :   very egoistic
User :   and she comments a lot
Doctor :   ok
User :   earlier I used to listen and keep shut and kept weeping
User :   I did not share anything with anyone
Doctor :   u should have had talk with ur hubby
Doctor :   or ur best friends
Doctor :   or ur parents
User :   not with m,y husband as I thought it would hamper our relation
Doctor :   ok
Doctor :   if u have any problem talk to some one
Doctor :   get some help
Doctor :   ok
User :   sometimes I talked 2 my friend
Doctor :   dont suffer urself
Doctor :   ok
User :   I was not understanding all this - once in the beg I asked her also that why are you upset with me - why don't u talk normally
Doctor :   ok
User :   please tell me if I m wrong anywhere - she said no ther's no such thing
User :   but there was
Doctor :   i understand ur problem
Doctor :   no ur not
User :   She used to interpret the scratch I used to write
Doctor :   ok
User :   like how much work I have done today
Doctor :   k
User :   I was surprised when she told me that at that she was smiling - but I got an idea how sharp she is
User :   Then after 9 mnths of my marriage I conceived
Doctor :   ok
User :   that time she had to go 2 our native place - the tickets were alredy booked
User :   but while returning she said I will come later - she very well knew that I was in a state where I need soemone elder
Doctor :   ok
User :   she said u both live happily and was very angry
Doctor :   k
User :   I still could not understand what is there in her mind
Doctor :   difficult to understand some people
Doctor :   u dont worry about some one who doesnt care for u
Doctor :   be calm
Doctor :   relaxed
Doctor :   divert ur mind
User :   I got very upset and went out of the house (at that we were also there at our native place - diwali time)
Doctor :   from her
Doctor :   and concentrate on work and ur baby
Doctor :   ur baby needs u
User :   yes I know
User :   now I don't care
Doctor :   ok
Doctor :   try not to stay alone
User :   but soemthing has affected me from inside - I don't want to hate someone because that affects me
Doctor :   talk to ur hubby
Doctor :   yep i know
Doctor :   take a break from ur work
User :   thaat i don't do
Doctor :   go for outing
Doctor :   spend some time with him
User :   but she will be there all the time with me
Doctor :   and baby
Doctor :   ok
User :   I have never spend time with him after our marriage
Doctor :   ok
Doctor :   Don't pressure yourself to do everything. Scale back your expectations for the perfect household.
Doctor :   Do what you can and leave the rest. Ask for help when you need it.
Doctor :   Rest as much as you can. Exercise regularly. Try daily walks with your baby.
User :   even when we went 4 the honeymoon (just for 2 days) she called up and asked us to come back the next day itself
Doctor :   ok
User :   as there was alot of work at home and we had to come to Mumbai
Doctor :   ok
User :   Sometimes my husband says the same thing which she says
User :   she washes her clothes herself
Doctor :   ok
User :   even if I am using the washing m/c at the same time she won't give it to me
Doctor :   ok
User :   and when she tries to help me - I can't bear that
User :   I say don't do it
User :   I'll do my work myself
Doctor :   ok
Doctor :   good
User :   suppose I am doing something for her and I forget that
User :   next time she will take it up herself
Doctor :   she complains isit
Doctor :   ok
User :   no but her expresssions say
Doctor :   ok
User :   and once my hubby said that u have taken partial responsiblity and owbership and those words I can't firget
User :   but he also says that If she is doing it then let her do don't take tension
Doctor :   ok
User :   I have developed a feeling that I'llnot come b/w my hubby and his mother
Doctor :   no wont
Doctor :   just calm down
User :   I get angry on my hubby
Doctor :   u dont worry what motherinlaw thinks
User :   but after that I feel very bad
Doctor :   ok
User :   she told me after 1 nad ahalf ys of marriage that u have not tried to learn anything (cooking etc.) from me
User :   she herself used to sit in the front of TV watching saas bahu serials
Doctor :   some people always complain
Doctor :   u dont listen to them
Doctor :   ok
User :   Ok I'll follow your advice
Doctor :   just be cheerful
Doctor :   they tried to pull u down
Doctor :   dont fall into trap
User :   I have started practising pranayaam
Doctor :   be urself
Doctor :   good
User :   ok thanks
Doctor :   thats a good stress buster
User :   please suggest more
Doctor :   ur welcome
Doctor :   dont be alone
Doctor :   try talking to ur friends
Doctor :   or some one whom u can talk
Doctor :   these issues
Doctor :   ok
Doctor :   take a break from work
Doctor :   if ur stressed out
Doctor :   spend time with ur baby
Doctor :   baby needs ur love and care
Doctor :   ok
Doctor :   dont worry too much as what ur motherinlaw says
Doctor :   and thinks
Doctor :   u do ur job
Doctor :   ignore is she makes faces
Doctor :   r u there
Doctor :   r u able to follow
Doctor :   Please fill this form I send, and say done when done.
User :   ok just a min can u please wait
Doctor :   ok
User :   please suggest some mental exercises
User :   and some ways I don't hate others
User :   as it is a life long commitment
Doctor :   yes
User :   not 1 or 2 days job
Doctor :   we can arrange for counselling
User :   I have a very pretty baby
Doctor :   to over the problem
Doctor :   really
Doctor :   thats fine
User :   and I love him very much
User :   soemtimes I m not able to concentrate on him and my work
Doctor :   ok
User :   that has affected my peroformance also
Doctor :   YYYY@YYYY Mobile : 0000
Doctor :   confirm ur details
Doctor :   we can arrange for counselling
User :   soemtimes I feel like writing my experiences and want them to read
Doctor :   this will help u overcome ur problem
Doctor :   ok
User :   can it be done over the phone?
User :   yes details are ok
Doctor :   yes
Doctor :   it is paid service
User :   ok
User :   what are the charges
Doctor :   500 per session
User :   both counselling personally and ove rthe phone
Doctor :   over the phone
User :   where can I go for that
Doctor :   in bangalore
User :   where in bang
Doctor :   where are u located in bangalore
User :   BTM
Doctor :   u can choose
Doctor :   personally counselling
Doctor :   or over the phone
Doctor :   over the phone it is 500
User :   what's the mode of payment?
Doctor :   personally it depends on the counsellor
User :   ok
Doctor :   One of our doctors will get back to you soon with all the relevant details.
Doctor :   i did clear all ur doubts
Doctor :   anything else u would like to know
User :   yes please tell me how to improve my behaviour starting 4m now onwards
Doctor :   try to restrain urself
Doctor :   when people provoke
Doctor :   dont look in their eyes
Doctor :   be calm
Doctor :   angry will cause destruction
User :   You know I did not seek any help even after my delivery'
Doctor :   so think with cool mind
User :   ok
Doctor :   good u have joined for yoga
Doctor :   continue with it
User :   ok
Doctor :   do u smoke or take alcohol
User :   no
User :   I am a very god fearing person
Doctor :   u can visit temples
Doctor :   if u wish so
User :   and now sometimes when I m upset I don't like praying
Doctor :   it gives peace of mind
Doctor :   ok
User :   yes
Doctor :   divert ur mind
Doctor :   dont be alone
User :   ok
Doctor :   try to keep urself engaged
Doctor :   in some work
User :   I know I can't change others
Doctor :   or take a break if work is too much
User :   but can change myself
Doctor :   yes
User :   no work is ok
Doctor :   sure but that should not
Doctor :   affect u
Doctor :   ok
User :   yes
User :   in a better way
User :   I keep reading inspiring quotes
Doctor :   yes
User :   and I want to excel in my field
Doctor :   read novels
Doctor :   go for movies
Doctor :   make some time for urself
Doctor :   in day
Doctor :   good
User :   ok
User :   I like seeing movies but can't go with the kid
User :   I play with my baby
User :   he is the whole world to me
User :   and very naughty
Doctor :   ok
User :   You know I m smiling now
Doctor :   good
Doctor :   keep smiling
User :   I keep his pics around me
Doctor :   always
Doctor :   good
Doctor :   spend time ur baby boy
User :   I wnat to give him gud education
Doctor :   he would love to see u
Doctor :   ok
User :   yes he misses me
User :   jst a min
Doctor :   ok
User :   ys I m here
User :   thanks a lot
User :   bye
Doctor :   ok
Doctor :   bye
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