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Stress and depression leading to loneliness - Online Doctor Chats

Date : 21-Feb-2012
User rating for this question
Very Good Posted in: Mental Health
Answered by

General & Family Physician
Practicing since : 2005
Answered : 2586 Questions
User :   Hi Doctor
User :   I would like to talk to a psychiatrist
User :   Any doctor online?
Doctor :   hi
Doctor :   this is DR XXX
User :   I have some problems in my work life
Doctor :   how may i help you today
User :   I am working as a XXX but I hate that job
Doctor :   please proceed
User :   i am 28 years old
User :   male
Doctor :   ok
User :   i donno whether i hate this company or the XXX as such
User :   and i donno what i want to do in my life
User :   i feel totally lost
Doctor :   since how long have you been in this job
User :   2 years 2 months
Doctor :   and how long do u work daily
User :   my work timings are normal. from 9am to 6:30pm
User :   i feel like taking a break and searching for something else in life
User :   i donno if thats rite at this age...
Doctor :   every work done by a person, to earn a livelihood has its specific demands
Doctor :   every other person, feels that they are not in the right job
User :   but this problem is haunting me
User :   i dont sleep properly during nites
User :   i go to bed at 11pm but dont get sleep even if its 12:30 am
Doctor :   perhaps, there are some things in the job, or some one in the work place who is affecting the way u function
User :   i cry many times about my life situation
Doctor :   can u please tell me if u smoke or drink alcohol OR have too much of tea / coffee ?
User :   nothing of that sort
User :   i drink socially
User :   tea i take once or twice a day
User :   i dont smoke
Doctor :   do u live alone or with family?
User :   alone
User :   i dont feel like staying with friends
User :   i am not married
Doctor :   do u have any support system, like friends , with whom u socialise daily ?
Doctor :   so u stay alone?
User :   yes
User :   i only meet up with office friends
Doctor :   i understand, sai
User :   and i talk with my cousin in phone once in 2 days
Doctor :   staying alone, and fending for yourself, on a daily basis can create psychological depression
Doctor :   how do u spend your day after work ?
User :   i go to dance class twice a week
User :   and then read a book after dinner
User :   and then go to bed at 11pm
Doctor :   good, any other physical activity ?
User :   i come back from office around 7:30pm
User :   i was doing yoga but not doing that now
Doctor :   do u go to the gym & workout?
User :   i work out during my dance sessions
User :   i do some 20-30 pushups once in 2 days during morning
Doctor :   being in a profession, that demands severe mental work such as u, can cause serious helath issues
User :   i am scared of how my life will go
Doctor :   i suggest that in addition to your dance classes, going jogging and doing cardio work outs daily will definitely help u out
User :   i am seeing myself as a misfit in this software industry
Doctor :   physical excercise increases the endorphin levels in the body, and will create a positive well being
Doctor :   why do u feel so? are u being bullied at work?
User :   i get bullied by some ppl at worrk
User :   they tell i dont work much
Doctor :   i understand
User :   i didnt get much work last year and they feel i dont work
User :   whenever i work, they make fun of me
Doctor :   i guess meeting deadlines and lstening to bosses and their immediate managers has taken a toll on you
User :   i hate my boss
User :   many ppl hate their bosses
User :   should i leave this job, take a break and find out what i want in life
User :   i just feel like travelling around the country
Doctor :   have u worked at the same place for long ? in that case it is better u find a better place to work BUT
User :   but donno whether its rite doing that at this age
Doctor :   DO u think u will find a better place somewhere else?
User :   i attended an interview but seeing my past experience they rejected me
User :   my work sucks and not many companies respect the kind of work which i did
User :   i donno whether i ll find a better place
Doctor :   i will recommend, that taking a break (albeit short one) which definitely will help u out
User :   how do i find out what i want to do in my life
Doctor :   may i know your qualification and your post at ur organisation?
User :   i am a, lead engineer now
Doctor :   hmmm
Doctor :   ok
User :   whatever i studied was not based on my interests. jus followed the herd mentality
Doctor :   so u must be in charge of most projects?
User :   everybody did engineering and so i also joined
Doctor :   i understand.
User :   i am not incharge of any project . am just a team member
Doctor :   this is a phase in life, where most youth, feel that they should have chosen a different route & this is completely normal
User :   many people get used to this life style and get settled in life
User :   i dont want to be that kind where i allow the situations to dictate my life
User :   many of my friends got married and have kids
User :   but i dont feel like getting married also
User :   infact i am scared of marriage
Doctor :   do u think you are in a position to take a break, from job, what i mean to say are u financially independent
User :   i dont know its purpose
User :   i can manage without a job for an year or so... but i dont think i need that much break
Doctor :   every man, in your position, feels the same way
Doctor :   BUT if u find a lifeparter, who will support u in every way, and be a stimulus for u, u will find that marraige is a very good institution for improving a life
User :   ok
Doctor :   the current problem u are facing, is LONLINESS
User :   now i am in my hometown with my family but i feel lonely here also
Doctor :   U need someone, or something to take out ur stress and add some fun in your daily life
Doctor :   i understand
Doctor :   try to meditate daily
Doctor :   YOGA, BREATH EXCERCISES - WILL definitely help u out
User :   ok
User :   should i continue this work even though i dont like doing that?
Doctor :   also, go for a jog for 30-45 min daily
Doctor :   please understand, finding a job, where u will find peace is a myth
Doctor :   please try to know, why u are facing these problems at work
Doctor :   y ur co-workers are having issues with u?
User :   i feel my work is of very low standard
User :   it doesnt require expertise of my caliber
Doctor :   contact ur manager orXXX manager at ur place
User :   and my manager tries to flatter the clients which i dont like much
User :   ok
User :   my clients who are koreans give all the low quality stuff to us
Doctor :   i understand, that, every private org. needs to have good clients so that it can make profit and then pay its salary to its workers , and its policies may not sound honest or ethical
User :   some of my colleagues are ok doing that but i hate that
User :   my colleagues also hate that but still they go to korea and work like slaves
Doctor :   i guess that, u have high work ethics and want to do more in life
Doctor :   thank you for contacting XXX
User :   i want to do more in life
User :   but not sure in XXX
Doctor :   i understand
User :   i like dancing so i joined dance classes
User :   and i feel happy doing that
Doctor :   try to get to know urself
Doctor :   dancing and singing, does give pleasure
Doctor :   get to know, what else can u do, other that what training u have gone to earn a living
User :   i am a good dancer and if given a choice can make that as a career but now its too late to start learning dance and pursuing as a career
Doctor :   nothing is too late
Doctor :   grit and determination - is the only thing that is needed
User :   ok
User :   thank you
User :   i ll try to take a short break of one month from my work
User :   and come back fresh
Doctor :   if u are financially independent, and u can do without ur current job,....
User :   i can search a job anytime. that wont be a problem for me
User :   i want to try ad film making but as usual family wont agree
User :   they fear too much about the society what others will think
User :   or indirectly am i feeling like that?
Doctor :   take a short break, then go to any place like XXX XXXXXXXX OR XXX, or GOA
User :   ok
Doctor :   I AGREE WITH U , AS people follow family wishes and go according to what the society needs
User :   i ve spent 28 years doing what others wanted me to do
Doctor :   but now in the global world, u need to get out of the rut, and make ur own space
User :   and i dont want to do the same for the rest of this life
User :   yes
Doctor :   there have been many instances, where in change of job, or complete change of profession, does make people good
Doctor :   since u r financially independent, and im sure u can find a good job, as u are well qualified, ....
Doctor :   u can definitely, manage to improve by taking a short break in ur professional life
User :   ok
User :   thank you so much
Doctor :   also, as i had said earlier, try to workout, jog, meditate and u will definitely find peace of mind and u will see clearly what exactly u are searching in life
User :   ok
Doctor :   i hope i have solved ur issues
User :   yes
User :   thank you
Doctor :   is there anything i can help u with
User :   i ll follow your advice
User :   thank you so much
Doctor :   u are welcome
Doctor :   thank u for consulting me
Doctor :   bye for now
User :   bye
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