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Query about sexual dissatisfaction - Online Doctor Chats

Date : 21-Feb-2012
User rating for this question
Very Good Posted in: Sexual Problems
Answered by

General & Family Physician
Practicing since : 2008
Answered : 3617 Questions
User :   Hi, I'm 30 years old and have been married for 2 years now, we've been together for 4 years total. The last few months i have been having difficulty getting a hard on with my wife which is upsetting my wife and she's thinking that the problem is her. I have to admit though that i have been watching a lot of porn the last one year and masturbating constantly. Should i stop doing that? Do i have to get on meds?
Doctor :   HI
User :   Hello
User :   Hello Dr
Doctor :   you do not seem to have lost your libido or having problems with erection
Doctor :   watching porn or masturbation is a healthy way of removing sexual frustration , but it could be an issue when it affects your daily activities and function with rest of your family or occupation
Doctor :   if u have issues with getting erections with your wife, but you have erections when you watch porn, it could indicate a partner specific issues
Doctor :   in that case, you need to re kindle the romance in your married life
Doctor :   are u there ?
User :   yes i am following
Doctor :   in case, there is no such issues, and u are not able to have erections even while watching porn, then it could mean you might be having ED
Doctor :   are u having erections in the early morning ?
User :   i haven't tried recently
Doctor :   ok
Doctor :   so if u try, can u get a good erection ?
User :   i was wondering if porn had an effect because i can't do same things that i see in porn with my wife
User :   yes i get a good erection
Doctor :   does your wife object to what you try to experiment with her
Doctor :   does she seem to enjoy that ?
User :   no, she's not very adventurous
Doctor :   may i know her educational background ? and occupation ?
User :   she has a bachelors
User :   and currently unemployed
Doctor :   ok
Doctor :   based on her educational background, her imagination and sexual education is limited
Doctor :   and if u want to enjoy sex, with her, you need to respect her and educte her
Doctor :   and help her understand the enjoyment that sex can offer for both of you and not only with your perspective
User :   ok
Doctor :   once both of you are on the same page, then there will not be any issue
Doctor :   also u need to know that porn is porn which is not reality
User :   first when it happened she was very upset and now every time we're about have sex, i'm nervous psychologically that it will happen again
Doctor :   you can adapt some of the things, but making it a reality within your personal life is not advisable
Doctor :   please explain what you mean , by when it first happened ?
User :   when i lost erection the first time, she was very upset and had low self esteem issues
User :   so, now everytime we are about have sex, i'm already nervous and convinced that i will not get an erection
Doctor :   You need to explain that anziety can kill the mood and reduce erections
Doctor :   In such cases, she can help you get erection by masturbating you and getting you excited
Doctor :   Sex is not just that one person is actve and the other partner just lies there to enjoy
Doctor :   it is a mutual action
Doctor :   and there needs to be co-ordination and education to enjoy it
Doctor :   i hope u have understood my advice
User :   yes definitely, i appreciate your advices, you've been helpful
Doctor :   you are welcome
User :   have a good day and thank you!
Doctor :   take care
Doctor :   bye for now
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