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Psychological problem during intercourse - Online Doctor Chats

Date : 21-Feb-2012
User rating for this question
Very Good Posted in: Mental Health
Answered by

General & Family Physician
Practicing since : 2009
Answered : 681 Questions
User :   I am a man of 34 yrs old and i have married just 4 months before.Now during intercourse,i am fantazizing with other women.I love my wife very much.but this fantazizing now becomes a habit of mine.some times i feel sad about doing this.Is it a problem?                                                                 
Doctor :   Hi
Doctor :   I am
Doctor :   Let me read your query
Doctor :   ok
Doctor :   Give me a minute, I shall try to see your chat history
Doctor :   as you have chatted before
Doctor :   with one of our doctors
User :   yes.
User :   he told me that fantazizing is ok.but some times i feel guilty.but without this i am not getting stimulation now
Doctor :   Ok
Doctor :   I did read your chat history
Doctor :   Yes, you have been explained in detail
Doctor :   Do you have any further doubts on that?
User :   i want some more confirmation doctor.whether all men are doing this or not?
Doctor :   Ok
Doctor :   there are certain research surveys
Doctor :   where in it says that about 75% of men do that
Doctor :   and it still suspects that among the rest 25%, might not have said the truth
Doctor :   it does mean that it is practised by many
User :   why men are addicted to this type of mental act even though a beautiful wife is nearby?
User :   I already told it is to avoid daily there any other reason?
Doctor :   It is because of the level of exposure they are getting
Doctor :   they say many females, who stimulate them
Doctor :   either in person or in the media
Doctor :   and hence it leads to such
User :   in some way it is guilty na?so how should i avoid this guiltiness doctor?
Doctor :   One is that it diminishes with time
Doctor :   do not worry about it
User :   i am daily searching in the net for finding a good answer on this
Doctor :   you need not do that
Doctor :   it is a known fact that most men do
Doctor :   you are one among them
Doctor :   you are not ready to accept it
Doctor :   it is the way a man thinks
Doctor :   and this is there in females as well
Doctor :   though not much of research is done
User :   so in what meatality i should be in bed with my wife when these thoughts conquer my mind?just accept and dwell in them for getting pleasure on shall i try hard to avoid and concentrate on my wife
Doctor :   try to avoid, but not hard
Doctor :   as it is not mandatory
User :   otherwise i would have to try for ED pills.shall i go for that?
Doctor :   Sorry, why is that required in your case?
User :   for getting artificial erection.i am getting erection only through fantasy thoughts na.
Doctor :   even with your wife you can get an erection
Doctor :   that is the last thing to do
Doctor :   Tell me how do you start your sexual intercourse?
User :   If i will continue in thsi way i am sure that i will get stimulation only through these fantasy thoughts with other women
User :   I am starting intercourse by first doing fore play on her.then she will don on that time onwards i am fantzinzng till the end of intercourse.
Doctor :   First of all, foreplay is very much important
Doctor :   you should do it by personally undressing her
Doctor :   massaging and kissing her body parts
Doctor :   explore her full body
Doctor :   concentrate on the parts which you feel excited about
Doctor :   you can do kissing, licking, sucking, etc
Doctor :   if possible, you can do it with lights rather than in darkness
User :   Every thing i have tried.but as soon as she begins i will be in fantasy world with will it ruin our relationship?is it wrong to fantzize?tell me immediate reply. i will try
Doctor :   Not at all
Doctor :   You do love her
Doctor :   but others might interest you and it is common for newer things to capture the mind
Doctor :   it does not affect your relationship
Doctor :   it is there in all walks of life
User :   i am loving her.but when this comes i am entering in my fantasy world.can i continue this fantasy thinking?i will try to fantazy with my wife also.i dont know whether it will succed.
Doctor :   Not a problem
Doctor :   Ok
Doctor :   it shall not have any impact
Doctor :   in your life or relationship
Doctor :   dont worry
User :   ok thank you can i continue fantazing with others during sex with no mental worries?
Doctor :   Sure, you can do that
User :   ok thank you
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