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How to treat erectile dysfunction? - Online Doctor Chats

Date : 13-Sep-2014
User rating for this question
Very Good Posted in: Erectile Dysfunction
Answered by

General & Family Physician
Practicing since : 2004
Answered : 1777 Questions
I am 30 year old and married for 3 years. My husband is diabetic. He also has erectille dysfunction. We hardly have sex. Sometimes after 2-3 months. Many times it is unsuccessful. I think my husband is shy to share his problems with me. But I took initiative and told him that he needs to see a doctor. Initially he was trying to blame me for this. He used to say that I am too demanding and selfish. On my request he went to his usual diabetologist. Doc said that it is not because of his diabetic problem. It may be because of mental pressure and tension. I am very frustrated and feeling very helpless. I cannot share my problems with anybody. I want to have our baby and cannot do anything about me. My husband is not taking any initiative to solve this problem. I can understand his situation but he needs to see a doctor. We cannot just sit idle. But he never tries to understand my situation. what should I do? Please help me.
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User:i hope you can see my main query above
Doctor:Is this present query?
Doctor:Just give me few minutes to read the query
User:can i request one thing. Please do not make this query public
Doctor:Ok sure
User:My husband would not like me sharing or asking this type of question to anybody
Doctor:I can understand your concern
Doctor:As your doctor said it is due to mental tension right
Doctor:Just explain your husband that you do not have any physical problem.It just occurs due to your stress.Tell him that you are not blaming him
User:ok, i will
Doctor:Just explain him about your mother hood and his father hood.Explain that you do not want miss your motherhood
User:may be by now he knows that its because of his stress.
Doctor:Convince him and take him to a Psychologist.
Doctor:Then you need to find which things make him stress
User:can you suggest good psychologist in XXXXXXX
User:i know his reason of stress.
User:his parents are also diabetic. he is always worried about them
Doctor:if you want you can post the query to Ask A specialist on your dash board.
Doctor:Ok I will give details of doctors
Doctor:Wait for few moments please
User:on top of that his mom is very demanding. She puts lot of financial pressure on him. She cries and make him emotional very now and then.
Doctor:Ok I can understand
User:He has no told to any body else in this family that he is diabetic.
Doctor:Then you need to talk with your mother in law as a daughter and explain her about in what kind of stress your husband is going through
Doctor:Tell her you wants to support your husband
Doctor:This is the link of Psychiatrist in XXXXXXX
User:i tried to explain. i tried to say that he is very stressed. But she immediately calls him up and enquire if it is true
Doctor:Your mother in law must be thinking you are taking him away from her which is happens to most of the mother's after son's marriage
User:my husband does not like that. colds me why i am sharing all this with her. he says that they are already ill, and i will make it worse
User:but it the question of my husband's health. And its affecting me also
Doctor:Do not share personal matters and give her confident that you are also like her daughter and you treat her like tyour mother
User:I am really frustrated and helpless
Doctor:If she understands the she will not give stress to your husband
Doctor:You both partners spend time with each other whenever you both get time
Doctor:Going out side,watching romantic movies and always be smile and positive
Doctor:Explain him about your love and affection towards him
User:he knows that i love him. infact he also loves me
Doctor:At least you can ask him to do yoga and meditation
User:but he is too care less about his health
Doctor:Yea I can see it in your feelings
Doctor:Yoga it can do at home right
Doctor:Explain that you do not want miss your mother hood and take him to a pshychaitrist
User:thank you for your time
Doctor:you said you have intercourse twice a month right
User:sometimes even less than that
Doctor:Then better have intercourse during ovulation time
User:you are the first person i am sharing my feelings
Doctor:Fore play is important in sexual life
Doctor:it arouse feelings in your husband
Doctor:And tell him that you will not about this any one in my life time and give him confidence about it.
Doctor:This is another link for Sexologist in XXXXXXX
Doctor:Give him confidence and take him to a doctor.
User:does he need to see psychologist or sexologist ?
Doctor:First you take him to a sexalogist
Doctor:Give confidence to him that you are not sharing with any one other than doctor which is most important in your husband case
Doctor:Do you have any more queries?
Doctor:Be positive,do not loose your hope.
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