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How to make a child feel secured? - Online Doctor Chats

Date : 29-Oct-2014
User rating for this question
Very Good Posted in: Child Health
Answered by

General & Family Physician
Practicing since : 2005
Answered : 2408 Questions
Doctor:Please proceed with your query.
User:Hello Dr. XXXXXXX
Doctor:Please proceed with your query
User:Dr. few weeks back I had come to you with a query about my toddler
User:2.3 yrs old
User:that she is staying with my in-laws at hometown since 2+yrs
User:now we want to bring her here
User:and today it self we have brought her to stay with us
User:we have asked her grandma to stay for few days
User:will she stay with me once her grand ma leaves
User:I am very worried
Doctor:Yes, I remember the chat we had last time.
User:night times my child insists she sleeps next to her grandma only
Doctor:Yes, she should adjust with you.
User:she will stay very well with me in daytime
User:but night times she gets cranky
Doctor:Initially she might show some tantrums and trouble you both but as the time passes she should stay with you both.
User:I checked with another doctor..and she said it will take over amonth
User:will it take so long
Doctor:yes, it will take some time but it depends how she copes up with you both.
Doctor:There is no definitive time limit but she will adjust and understand.
User:will she feel hurt that we have separated her
User:from her grandma
Doctor:You need to explain her and yes initially she might be a bit depressed.
Doctor:Have you admitted her to any nursery schools?
User:no...not yet
Doctor:So, you can get her admitted to a nursery school where she will mingle with other kids.
User:but isn't she small for school
Doctor:start playing with them and gradually would loose the habit of being with her grandmother.
Doctor:More than 2 yrs, I feel you can get her admitted. I mean play schools near by your home.
Doctor:In the night try to spend more time with her.
Doctor:This will give her secured feeling of you being with her and the love her grand mother was giving her.
User:actually when I was at hometown..few days my mom-in-law was not available..
User:and she stayed very well with me
User:not even asked me once abt her
User:that was in XXXXXXX
User:but recently this change I have noticed
User:she will not even allow me to touch her
Doctor:This is a good sign and she should stay with you without any problems.
User:or comfort her during night
Doctor:When her grand mother is present in the home then she likes to stay with her and doesn't allow you to touch her. But as you said in XXXXXXX when her grand ma was not there she stayed happily with you.
User:yes..she did
Doctor:that means its only in presence of her grand mother she shows some tantrums with you.
User:why is it like that..dosent she like me
Doctor:once her grand mother goes back to her place she will be happy to stay with you.
Doctor:She does like you but this is the nature of human beings. Children are more affectionate toward their grand parents.
Doctor:As parents do scold them some times but grand parents usually love and comfort them more.
Doctor:Nothing to worry. It is commonly seen in children.
User:just 2 days back when she slept next to her gradma..then she left the room and asked me to sleep next to kid..but whole night she was uncomfortable
User:she was moving away and asking for her
Doctor:As her grand mother was present in the house.
Doctor:she wanted to stay with her.
User:yes..thank you so much
User:I hope my child too loves me like her
User:thank you
Doctor:Yes, she will do not worry. Everything will be fine.
Doctor:She will adapt gradually.
User:ok Dr.Thank you for your time
Doctor:Thanks for visiting me here. Bye for now.
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