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Family issues leading to unsatisfactory sex - Online Doctor Chats

Date : 21-Feb-2012
User rating for this question
Excellent Posted in: Anxiety and Stress
Answered by

General & Family Physician
Practicing since : 2009
Answered : 676 Questions
Doctor :   Hi
User :   hi docto
Doctor :   THIS is Dr XXX
Doctor :   How may I help You?
User :   sir i have been married in january '10
User :   then after till month i cant feel have sex
User :   sperm count is also decreased
Doctor :   May i know the age of you and your wife ?
User :   my age is 29
User :   and my wife is 28
User :   nowadays i feel very weak
Doctor :   ok
User :   back pain
Doctor :   do you work out daily?
User :   no
Doctor :   What are the investigations done so far?
User :   just seeing my wife my penis erect for 2 min and its over
User :   i cant even satisfy her
User :   i have not consulted any doctor
Doctor :   I understand your situation
Doctor :   May I know whats your occupation?
User :   i am working in XXX
Doctor :   Do you have a lot of stress ?
User :   from morning 9.30 to 7.30
User :   after marraige i got stress because of wife
Doctor :   Does your wife work as well?
User :   my mom and my wife fight daily
User :   no she is housewife
Doctor :   Are you financially dependent on your parents ?
User :   no
Doctor :   Do your parents stay with you most of the time?
User :   no they understand me better
User :   actually my wife is from hXXX
Doctor :   was your marriage a arranged one?
User :   and due to misunderstanding in language its create a prob
User :   otherwise the fight is not that high as happen in everybody's home
User :   but due to which we fight with each other
Doctor :   I understand, this is a routine which occurs in all indian homes
User :   i feel shame when she tells me even you cant satisfy me
User :   pls can u provide any solutions on this
Doctor :   Please tell me was your marriage a arranged one or love marriage ?
User :   arranged one
Doctor :   oK
Doctor :   what is the educational qualification of your wife?
User :   m sci, B.ed
Doctor :   may I know your qualification as well?
User :   MBA
Doctor :   OK
Doctor :   Coming back to the main query.
User :   yes
Doctor :   PLEASE NOTE
Doctor :   Marital bliss occurs when the couple is in complete harmony.
User :   my prob is little bit difference also
Doctor :   If stress or anger comes into play, b/w the couple the sexual performance is affected.
User :   at the age of 17 i was started mastubation
User :   it can effect
Doctor :   mastubation is pefectly normal and it does not affect the sexual performance.
User :   nowadays also when i feel i do masturbation
User :   if satisfies me better than i do sex with wife
User :   thats why i got fear
Doctor :   its just a mental anguish, and feeling of guilt that makes people feel that it is the factor.
User :   so what can i do
User :   any diet
User :   my sperm goes in urine also
User :   and urine is little bit reddish in colour
Doctor :   dear XXX, FOR proper discussion , i would like to chat with you for a longer time.
User :   ok
Doctor :   As i was telling you, ...
User :   yes
Doctor :   To have sexual pleasure both mental and physical well being is important
User :   ok
User :   we both love each other a lot
User :   but entire dys discussion makes us fight
Doctor :   please be patient as i chatting with a no of patients simultaneously, ...
User :   ok
Doctor :   please be online for a few minutes
Doctor :   to start with, please keep your sex life different from your family life
User :   any diet which u refer
Doctor :   keep the bedroom only for plain sex, and for no talk of things happening in the living room.
Doctor :   have a discussion with your wife, without any sort of searching for blame
Doctor :   take her out for a dinner in a good restaurant, and make peace with her.
Doctor :   tell her that you love her, and you do not want to fight with her again.
Doctor :   get her some flowers, daily once you are back from work (at least one rose will work just fine)
Doctor :   When both of you are comfortable with each other, then there will be no issue to fight
Doctor :   Are you there?
Doctor :   with me ?
Doctor :   For the question of diet, i will give you the information later on.
Doctor :   Are you there with me ?
User :   sorry
User :   yes i am there
Doctor :   I will also email you a few details
Doctor :   Have you understood, what i have told you.
User :   ok
Doctor :   first make a atmosphere condusive to have a good sexual life.
User :   ok
User :   any medicine u suggest
Doctor :   So that, every time both of you meet, there should not be any tension in b/w you.
User :   ok
Doctor :   Also - make a note - everytime a fight occurs - tell to yourself that, YOU ARE ALLREADY MARRIED NOW, and THERE IS NO OPTION, THAN TO FORGIVE HER, AND BE HAPPY WITH HER
Doctor :   DO not bring the question of EGO b/w you.
Doctor :   THIS approach, will solve the emotional problem b/w you and relieve the stress.
User :   i am not bringing any question of ego
Doctor :   Please understand, what I have told is not just for you, it is for both of you, in general
Doctor :   You need to convey this to your wife in a subtle way, so that both of you can lie happily
User :   ok
Doctor :   As far as medicines are considered, they will help, only if there is any major problem
Doctor :   Most of the problems faced by couples, that are newly married are due to emotional and psychological
User :   but nowadays both r getting a prob of back pain and joint pain
User :   i thought it is due to less sperm count
Doctor :   As you earlier told, that you enjoy masturbation more than regular sex, THIS means that there is no physical problem in you.
Doctor :   have you got your semen tested ?
User :   yes last month i have tested
Doctor :   how did you get to know that you have a low sperm count ?
Doctor :   OK, what were the testosterone levels ?
Doctor :   was it normal ?
User :   it was normal
Doctor :   whats your height and weight ?
Doctor :   Semen analysis - if done with a sample after sex or masturbation, can give low levels
Doctor :   for proper results, it needs to be done, after 3 days of complete abstienance
User :   my height is 6.1
User :   and weight is 92
Doctor :   Your weight ideally should be 85 for your height
User :   and last to last week i have get a problem of alcer
Doctor :   you will have to lose, probably about 7-8 kgs
User :   for which doctor has given HP kit powerful medicine
User :   ok
Doctor :   follow a healthy diet, reduce your weight by going to the gym
Doctor :   follow a cardio workout ( 45 min of brisk walk daily)
User :   ok
User :   what should i eat
Doctor :   stretching workouts daily will prevent any postural problems due to work related problems
Doctor :   Avoid spicy stuff since you have acidity
User :   ok
Doctor :   I will email you details of food you can eat which you will help you out
User :   ok thanks doctor
Doctor :   As far as possible, medicines are not required for you in your early married life
User :   regular healthy diet and exercise will solve all the problems
User :   so i dont need to go and check with specialists
Doctor :   learn to manage stress , learn to prioritize your relations, be communicative with your near and dear ones,
Doctor :   add some humour in your day to day life
User :   ok
Doctor :   Right now, get some changes in your day to day life, and your lifestyle
Doctor :   And I Assure you, you will find good changes, helping you oot
Doctor :   and solve your problems
User :   ok
User :   thanks u so much for your valuable feedback
Doctor :   You are welcome
Doctor :   Do you have any other query?
User :   no doctor thanks so much
User :   for your valuable time
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