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Depression post harrassment - Online Doctor Chats

Date : 13-Jan-2012
User rating for this question
Excellent Posted in: Depression
Answered by

General & Family Physician
Practicing since : 2004
Answered : 40 Questions
User :   hello
Doctor :   hi
User :   hi im just wondering if u could help me
Doctor :   how can i do that?
User :   i really think i need to go and see a specialist for me depression
User :   i will tell you brief description of my lfe
User :   *life
Doctor :   ok
User :   from 7yrs - 17 yrs i was sexual abused by my step dad (fully)
User :   from 13yr-15yrs i was sexua abuse by my bith dad (slighty)
User :   at the age of 16yrs had a miscarriage
User :   now ive got justice for the pedo's and all my family has disowned me
User :   which half the problem because i was close to me mum
User :   but what im trying to say is
User :   since 11yrs i have been depressed but i didnt go the doctors and tell him because the abuse was a secret
User :   ive attempted suicide on serveral occassions from the age 11
User :   that has lead to self harm on my arms
User :   my behaviour is uncontrolable
User :   im like a split person one min i can be fine and the next raging with anger
User :   i can be violent and i often get a knife and try to stab my partner, he has had to restrain me hundreds of times from stabbing him self harming taking tablets etc
User :   i do have thought that i dont want to be here and i havefelt like that for years now
User :   the doctor sent my for councelling twice but they dont work on me
User :   he js says ive got depression and anxiety and tells me to go home and get over it
User :   whic has made me scared to go the doctors to gettreatment coz dont thin understand the serous of the effects my life as ad on me
Doctor :   ok
User :   to be honest i feel like a time bomb that going to explode ad self destruct
User :   ie needed help for years and ive jus been ignored and a illnes with out treatment can jus gt worst
User :   ges
User :   gets
User :   i dont know what to say to the doctor because what ive told you is not even touching the surface of how i am
User :   have nite mares reoccurring
User :   i cant sleep coz of m nite mare
User :   and when i do get to sleepi dont want to get about of bed and face the world
User :   i really wish now that my mum drown me at birth, or gave me away like her other children.
User :   i do feel guilty for the abuse and i do feel im to blame. (which is silly
User :   but thats the state of mind im in
User :   ive been on fluxetine 20mg and it doesnt seem to work at all but he wont give me more doseage because im only 20
User :   i really dont know what to do the doctor doesnt seem to understand, and ie even took people with me to try ad tell him in a better way than me but still he says go home and forget about it
User :   what do suggest i do
User :   ?
Doctor :   from the history that you presented
User :   k
User :   i hardly go out either hae panic attacks, be sick if im nervous
User :   i dont want to feel like this anymre is hell
Doctor :   what you counseller has advvised is corrwsct from the point of giving medicines
Doctor :   now this requires nore of counselling
Doctor :   rather than increasing the dose
User :   k
User :   but counselling doesnt work with me they make me feel worst than ever and make believe its m fault
User :   i cant really be left on me own
User :   i love my mum to pieces rite cant live with out her. but because she go with a predator pedo
User :   and sign a form saying if my step dad touch me she'll be sent to prison to
Doctor :   there are communities that have come out of this problems so you need to mongle with them
User :   my confidence and self esteem is so slow
User :   i can only tell u all this because im talkin to a screen
Doctor :   ok
Doctor :   keep telling
User :   rite
Doctor :   spill your worries
User :   ill try
Doctor :   there is some one who is listening
User :   one min
User :   i have a pad and i write down how i feel
Doctor :   ok
User :   anyways im going to have to ourt in a fw months to give edvidence about my mum
User :   and its destroying me
User :   feel like ive been trick by the police becausei tod te whole truth about my abuse
User :   bcause i want the pedo to get what he deserved
User :   i feel like now i shouldn't of gone the police and stayed quiet
User :   bu i didnt for other children so he couldnt hurt them like he's destroyed me
User :   ive lost my brother and sister from my dads side
User :   every adult as was growing up has failed to protect me
User :   and dont want 2 kow me now
User :   it makes me feel like im to blame for everything
User :   it was all my fault
User :   i self harm without even knowing im doing it
User :   its over after when see the blood i realise wat ive done
User :   my behaviour is so out of control
User :   id rather jus be on my own
User :   then i cant hurt any
User :   ive got really no family
User :   im head is xxxxx
User :   before i was 7yrs i was happy then y mum got a divorce and my life turned t hell
User :   i feel like no one takes me serious
User :   and people are out to get me
User :   i feel empty
User :   there situations where i should feel something but i dont. i jus feel as im looking at my self and everyone around
User :   like out my body
User :   i sometimes think some one has send something but its like me mind playig tricks
User :   im ashamed for saying this
User :   but i use hurt my cat
User :   when i was feeling down
User :   i jus feel like a nutcase
User :   has ive had this depress for about 10yr min
User :   depression
User :   and itlike no matter what anyoe says my mind set
User :   i have the inabiliaty to say no to males which had left me being abuse again but different people
User :   i fightin a losing battle
User :   ive got a person who speaks to me and shes from rasac
User :   have u heard of xxxxx
Doctor :   what is that?
User :   its xxxxx, it helps people whos been rape or violent realtion
User :   realtion
User :   free buy the goverment in xxxxx
Doctor :   ok
User :   ive being seeing her for about 2 yrs now
User :   i tell her more than i tell the doctor because i can conect with her ad i feel she understands
User :   and shes sed u need to go and see a specialist
User :   so has a person from the job centre who i went to see. she told me to ask the doctor refer me to a speciallist
User :   bt he send theres no around here but with a mental hospital which speciallising in mental health
User :   i feel like im going on now
User :   are u bord yet
Doctor :   we are here to listen patientky
User :   k thank u
Doctor :   please fill this and say when done
User :   done
User :   i jus dont want to feel like this anymore
Doctor :   thankm you
User :   my behaiour is the same whether i take the medication or not
User :   dont seem to work at all
User :   my partner sed to me hve u stop taking ya meds
User :   and i sed y
User :   because they way your acting is like ya not been takig them
Doctor :   long term tablet is not advisable because of adverse effects
User :   but i was taking one daily like the doc sed to do
User :   i can understand that
User :   well really i would want to get help i possible with med
User :   because sometimes meds can make u act different than whs really going on
Doctor :   the treatment should be with both medicines and counselling
User :   i feel like no one ove, i cant trust people really, i feel empty, my lifes jus destastor.
User :   loves
User :   its like i need career like
User :   can be left on my own
User :   applied for dla disabillaty living allowance
User :   and i need middle to be able to live wth someone whos XXXXXXXX help me fight this
User :   but i cant even get that i need to be disnogise by someone higher then a doctor
User :   im breakin the law now to get the care i need
User :   because if i lived on my own i would self destruct
User :   at least this way can selfdestruct but someone XXXXXXXX be ere to safe me
User :   to stop me to hlp
User :   help
User :   im only sill ere because of the person who with me all the time
User :   if it wasnt for them ill be worst now, thats unbelievable in my eyes but it woud be true
User :   jus want to be given chance wirh a speciallist
User :   something different than ive tried before
Doctor :   xxxxxsorry to intrupt
User :   k
Doctor :   We have a long queue of patients waiting for our service.
User :   ok
Doctor :   We are available from 9AM to 9PM IST everyday.
User :   so what do suggest me to say to the doctor
Doctor :   IST is indian standard time
User :   got about at 4.30 uk time
Doctor :   if you need further medical advice. We are available from 9AM to 9PM IST everyday.
User :   ok wat do suggest i say to my doctor
User :   to get help i need to be understood then ill go
Doctor :   thats good
Doctor :   bye xxxxx
Doctor :   There is a friend referral contest going on. You can win prizes if you refer maximum number of your friends in a day. You can also win Rs. 1000/- per week if the number of your referrals is highest in the week. There will be a form coming up on your screen now.There is a button to import contacts from your Gmail, Yahoo, AOL ID's. Please refer your friends to this service with a click of the button and importing contacts instead of entering the email ids manually
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