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Depression, negative thinking - Online Doctor Chats

Date : 13-Jan-2012
User rating for this question
Average Posted in: Depression
Answered by

General & Family Physician
Practicing since : 2005
Answered : 2408 Questions
Doctor :   Hello
User :   sorry doc
User :   i have disconnect
Doctor :   So you were not listening to what I said till now

Doctor :   I mean reading
User :   doc i feelt sometime that i leave my family, my studies, my life , my carieer everything n no body valued me

User :   no doc
Doctor :   First you should change the process of your thinking
User :   ok
Doctor :   Leave the negative thinking leave the worries behind
Doctor :   it is easier for most people to think in a negative way rather than in a positive manner.
User :   how can i change all this
Doctor :   it is mainly because, thinking in a positive manner requires some efforts
Doctor :   I can help you
User :   yes doc
Doctor :   I can easily say that you are a strong lady
Doctor :   You hve lot of potential
Doctor :   you can be constructive
Doctor :   Do not be influenced by the wordings of your in laws
User :   still i m tring 2 win all's heart
User :   but i'm trying
Doctor :   ok
Doctor :   good
Doctor :   or the short tempered husband
User :   but there is always lack in my efforts

Doctor :   You do not have to win someone's heart specially
User :   :)
Doctor :   If you are constructive
Doctor :   and achieve something
Doctor :   you will win hearts
Doctor :   Just go back in your life
Doctor :   college or graduate days
User :   but i really love my hubby
Doctor :   you must have done some good
Doctor :   try to polish that
User :   but he alway become short tempered bcoz of me
Doctor :   Think only those good moments
Doctor :   I understand
Doctor :   but what is the use
User :   yes
Doctor :   If getting short tempered solves some problems
Doctor :   then it is good being short tempered
Doctor :   Everyone knows getting short tempered does not solve the problem
Doctor :   instead aggravates it
User :   now i've got a job offer in my hubby's office, now i m confused bcoz now i want a baby'
Doctor :   Do not drain your energy which is powerful
Doctor :   Utilize it
Doctor :   You can try having a baby
Doctor :   at the same time
Doctor :   work in yur hubby's office
Doctor :   During the last three months
User :   n what should i do 4 job
User :   :)
Doctor :   you will get 85 days of maternity leave
Doctor :   so it will not affect your baby any how
User :   ok
Doctor :   I am sure, new member (yur baby) will bring cheers in yur life
Doctor :   You will be more optimistic
User :   doc but every single thing ereates me
User :   yes
Doctor :   Do one thing
User :   i'm trying n doing yoga also
Doctor :   Follow my below one advice
User :   yes
Doctor :   and get back to me after 15 days
User :   ok
Doctor :   The first step to optimism is to identify the thoughts and beliefs running through your mind after something unpleasant happen
User :   ok

Doctor :   Although there are a number of ways to reduce negative moods, one of the most effective is to change your thought patterns
Doctor :   this technique takes some practice
Doctor :   but once you get control over your thinking, you will feel much better.
User :   ok
User :   ok
Doctor :   Now maintain a diary
Doctor :   it is called Thought Identification diary
User :   sometimes i feel that i'm not fit in my hubby's family
Doctor :   you need to identify what thoughts you have that immediately come before your negative feelings
User :   becoz they want a housely lady n i want do some thing n make my place
User :   ok
Doctor :   So, when you feel bad, say to yourself, "What just went through my mind
Doctor :   write down negative thoughts-especially thoughts you have about yourself in that dairy
User :   ok doc
Doctor :   Example: "I am so stupid."
Doctor :   this might be the negative though
User :   :)
Doctor :   you might have
Doctor :   before you go into that negative mood
User :   first feeling comes in mind that i cant do anything
Doctor :   Yes
Doctor :   yes
Doctor :   I want that
Doctor :   feelings to be noted
User :   i'm failure n cant save my any relation
Doctor :   so after few days you will have a collection of those thoughts
User :   ok
Doctor :   Isnt it?
Doctor :   Second, determine if the thought is true
User :   yes
Doctor :   like are you really stupid?
User :   ok
Doctor :   Is there evidence this is true
User :   my hubby some times fight me badly but he loves me a lot
Doctor :   there is no proof
User :   ok
Doctor :   so that thought is wrong
Doctor :   so cut it off from the dairy
Doctor :   you are not stupid
Doctor :   you can be more happy now
User :   actually after my wedding something happend wid me wid proof n that thing hurt me a lot
Doctor :   Replace with a positive thought
User :   n hubby was not also wid me
Doctor :   As human beings, we are not perfect, and we tend often to think in negative ways
Doctor :   and behave stupid
Doctor :   You should not bother about it
User :   but why this happend 2 me, why every time my mistakes comes out
Doctor :   Look this is what I wnt you to avoid
Doctor :   Do you not look at your mistakes
User :   i did every thing then why i m not a gud daughter in law
Doctor :   Try to help and serve your in laws as you were
Doctor :   Take only the good things they say
Doctor :   whenever they start something bad
User :   ok doc
Doctor :   about you, immediately close your eyes and ears
Doctor :   infront of them
Doctor :   they should also know that you are a positive minded person
User :   if i do this then they feel bed
User :   :)
Doctor :   let them
Doctor :   know that you do not want to hear bad
User :   even sometimes my hubby fight them bcoz of me
Doctor :   at the same time you serve them
User :   but i also dont like all this
Doctor :   as ideally you are doing it
User :   doc can i really change my life
Doctor :   Sure
Doctor :   Do not worry
User :   can i live happy wid my hubby
Doctor :   Just do what I say
User :   i want a normal n loving life without any tention
User :   ok
Doctor :   1) Maintain a dairy of the thoughts, do not forget to write
Doctor :   immediately
User :   i love my hubby sooooooooo much
Doctor :   when ever you feel low
Doctor :   2) Join your hubby office
User :   but some time i feel that he leave me also
Doctor :   first part of feeling good about yourself
User :   ok
Doctor :   3) Start planning for your child
User :   ok
Doctor :   Try to smile even when you feel low
Doctor :   start practising that
Doctor :   it takes time
Doctor :   but it works
Doctor :   Go for a quick walk
Doctor :   or call your immediate friend who is close to you
Doctor :   when ever you have a negative thouht
Doctor :   of anything in your life
Doctor :   These things shall help you
Doctor :   Nothing is wonder here
User :   ok

Doctor :   Everything takes its own time
User :   ok

User :   should i talk 2 u after 15 days

Doctor :   yes
Doctor :   You should
User :   ok doc
User :   i 'll try 2 follow all ur's instructions
Doctor :   It takes 3 to 4 sessins
User :   ok
Doctor :   before yoiu see some positive things
User :   n thanks a lot 4 this chat
User :   i think it'll be a begining 4 my new life
Doctor :   That is the spirit
Doctor :   I wanted
User :   thank u doc
Doctor :   Slowly the thoughts go off
Doctor :   Ok
User :   i've a request 2 u
Doctor :   I hope to see you after 2 to 3 weeks
Doctor :   better than now
Doctor :   Yes
Doctor :   please
User :   plz dont tell everything 2 my hubby othere wise he 'll be upset also
Doctor :   Never
Doctor :   I assure you about the confidentiality
User :   thank u
User :   bcoz i want 2 see him happy
Doctor :   Stay cheerful when he is around
Doctor :   Have you filled the feedback form?
User :   no
Doctor :   Please fill the feedback form
Doctor :   and say done
Doctor :   when done
Doctor :   I want you to be more merrier than now when you get back

User :   ok
Doctor :   Bye
Doctor :   Good night
User :   ok doc
User :   bye
User :   take care
User :   gud nit
Doctor :   You too
User :   :)
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