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Depression in life,mixed emotions - Online Doctor Chats

Date : 13-Jan-2012
User rating for this question
Very Good Posted in: Depression
Answered by

General & Family Physician
Practicing since : 2004
Answered : 1773 Questions
Doctor :   Hi
Doctor :   Are you vack?
Doctor :   back
User :   hay
User :   im back
Doctor :   ok
Doctor :   how are you feeling now?
User :   dunno mixed emotions really just been sitting in my room staring at 4 walls
Doctor :   Ok.
Doctor :   So tell me.
Doctor :   Is there anything you would like to talk about?
User :   you never told me that stronger tablets
Doctor :   Ok
Doctor :   So, what did you take? beer or vodka?
User :   both mainly beer
User :   sorry
Doctor :   Thats ok
Doctor :   You still came back sober.
Doctor :   I am glad.
Doctor :   So, have you thought some more about what I told you?
User :   what did you tell me/
User :   brain like a sieve
Doctor :   Ok
Doctor :   About losing and how everyone is a failure at some point or the other.
User :   not for as long i have been
Doctor :   I suggest that you think about what I said.
Doctor :   And also about purpose.
User :   why u avoiding the question bout tabs
Doctor :   First I want to think about what I said.
User :   what about failer
Doctor :   and purpose
Doctor :   and moving on with the memories.
User :   i havent got a purpose dont no why im here
User :   i havent got any memories of my mum she wasnt there for me ever
Doctor :   Ok
Doctor :   About the memories with your uncle, you said they were the best.
User :   they were when they lasted
Doctor :   Yes
Doctor :   No one can take them away from you.
User :   well i have
User :   he was an amazing guy he was always there but those memories have gone
Doctor :   Think about the good times. Not many have even those left.
User :   including me
Doctor :   Ok
Doctor :   There is nothing like that
User :   im so scared that if i face it i might even get worse
User :   yes i no i have to get worse to get better
User :   i feel i've hit rock bottom
Doctor :   you should remember your uncle.
Doctor :   Ok
Doctor :   Rock bottom is good because you cant go lower than that
Doctor :   now you can start coming up.
User :   whats the point its only me i havent any family friends or anything
User :   how sad is that
Doctor :   Thats ok
Doctor :   there can be worse things that can happen to people.
User :   take overdose yeah
Doctor :   No
Doctor :   there are worst things believe me.
User :   we'll this is the worse for me
User :   it just shows how much my family love me, sending a letter to tell me my died 2 weeks ago
Doctor :   Ok.
Doctor :   I agree with that
Doctor :   that was bad.
Doctor :   Ok.
Doctor :   So what do you usually think about?
User :   familys nothing to me anymore to me and to them we do exist
Doctor :   Yes.
Doctor :   I know what your family did was bad.
Doctor :   But I was asking you what else do you usually think about?
User :   nothing
Doctor :   How come?
User :   all i do is drink watch tv or go beach
Doctor :   Ok
User :   nothing to think about
User :   i have a cup which says without stress my life would be emputy
Doctor :   Ok.
Doctor :   Tell me anything else that you would like to talk about.
User :   cant handle my temper
Doctor :   Ok
User :   drink to much
User :   life is opretty simple as u know
Doctor :   Ok
Doctor :   What do you get angry about?
User :   if some says somthing out of line i go defensive
User :   kicked off in pub last night
Doctor :   Ok
Doctor :   Like what?
User :   anything if they say dont you think you had enough over and over again it really gets on my nerves i no there right
Doctor :   Ok.
Doctor :   Who do you go out with usually?
User :   on my own all ways
Doctor :   Ok
Doctor :   Do you have any old school friends?
User :   no
Doctor :   Ok
User :   can u see why i dont want to here
Doctor :   Yes. I understand your feelings.
Doctor :   But still you are too young to be doing this.
Doctor :   You havent seen anything yet.
Doctor :   You have so much life.
User :   i've seen enough
Doctor :   I admit you have seen a lot but all you have seen was the sad side of it.
Doctor :   There is much more than this.
Doctor :   Did you ever consider that?
User :   all there is in my life is sadness i cant take anymore of that
User :   can u understand that
User :   it makes me so angry thats he has gone and im here
Doctor :   I can understand.
Doctor :   But may be he would have wanted you to be here.
Doctor :   May be he wouldnt have wanted you to be like this.
Doctor :   Dont you think so?
Doctor :   Tell me.
User :   he all ways told me to do whats best for me
User :   so i dont no
Doctor :   Ok
Doctor :   And he would definitely not like it to see you at your worst.
Doctor :   Dont you think so?
Doctor :   Tell me.
User :   he aint here to see it though is he
Doctor :   Dont you think that is what he would have wanted?
User :   if he was here no
User :   but i dont no bout now
Doctor :   wherever he is, he would probably want the same thing right?
User :   he wouldnt like to see me like it but he aint here to see
Doctor :   Imagine for a moment that he does see you. Do you think he would be happy to see you this way?
Doctor :   The people who we think are gone are not really gone. They stay with us in our memories.
Doctor :   I would like it you thought about this too.
User :   i had to forget about him to get on thats how i greive
Doctor :   Why should you remember a person and grieve?
Doctor :   You can also think about the person and be happy.
Doctor :   I would like you to think about what I told you today .
User :   the only memorie i have is him lying on that floor stone cold
Doctor :   I will be waiting tomorrow again to chat with you.
User :   y you going
Doctor :   Because there are other patients online.
User :   ok what is that god dam tablet then please
Doctor :   Will tell you after you completely think about what I said.
User :   that wasnt the deal
User :   why do you want me to get worse
Doctor :   I felt that you were getting better.
Doctor :   Why do you feel you are getting worse?
Doctor :   I see improvement in you everyday.
User :   i dont
User :   im getting more and more the opisit
Doctor :   You would not know now
User :   then why do i always want to curl up cry and die
Doctor :   It feels that way in the beginning.
Doctor :   It happens
User :   but i mean it i cant live this way
Doctor :   I will be waiting tomorrow.
Doctor :   Life is never easy.
Doctor :   But that does not mean that it is not worth living.
User :   i aint got anything to live for i dont know what happened to me i used to the happiest girl on earth i had a brilliant relationship and amazing uncle
Doctor :   Yes.
Doctor :   Thats why I am trying to talk to you
User :   i dont think i could stick living this way
Doctor :   I will be waiting tomorrow.
User :   why did it have to happen to me
Doctor :   I want you to think about what I said.
Doctor :   Tragedy happens to everybody.
Doctor :   Remember you are never alone.
User :   im not here tomorrow i've decided
Doctor :   Why is that so?
User :   yes that is so i have just listening to a song which should of been writen for me
Doctor :   oK
Doctor :   Every song is written for some one or the other.
Doctor :   That means there are others like you
User :   your not helping
Doctor :   Ok
User :   many of them dont stick with there life
Doctor :   Ok
User :   people die every day over overdoes and you know that
Doctor :   Yes
Doctor :   Dont you think there is enough death?
Doctor :   Why do you think there should be more?
User :   it cant be helped people can live with there lives
User :   as for me
User :   i cant beleive you dont think i would do it
User :   your making me even stronger to do it
User :   your ignoring me i would to thats what im usually use to
Doctor :   No
Doctor :   I am sorry
Doctor :   there were other patients
User :   sorry im keeping you]
Doctor :   Thats ok
User :   is it your just making sure im not stupid
Doctor :   No
Doctor :   The reason I am doing this is that I know that you would make it through this.
Doctor :   Thats why I am trying to talk to you.
Doctor :   As I told you, I would be waiting for you
Doctor :   tomorrow
User :   this isnt a spare of the moment thing i thought long and hard about it
Doctor :   Yes I know
Doctor :   Thats why I want to talk to you
User :   why though i wouldnt want to talk to me
Doctor :   Thats because you are depressed right now
Doctor :   You would feel differently later
User :   i dont think i will 2 nights you've made me keep my life
User :   its ment to be third time lucky aint it
Doctor :   i know I cant change your mind but I want you to think about what I said
Doctor :   Will you think about it when you come tomorrow?
User :   my mind just goes into overdrive
User :   dont no what im doing tomorrow
Doctor :   Yes
Doctor :   I will be waiting
Doctor :   tomorrow.
Doctor :   Bye for now
User :   your always waiting
Doctor :   Yes
User :   im not here tomorrow im out
Doctor :   Why?
Doctor :   Dont you want to tell me what you thought about?
User :   im out tomorrow
Doctor :   i will be waiting.
User :   i wont be here
User :   waiting for nothing
Doctor :   ok
User :   im sorry
Doctor :   I will be still waiting
Doctor :   Please fill the feedback form say done when done
User :   i go out every sunday
User :   i booked a holiday along time ago for next sunday but its a place where loads of alcohole is
Doctor :   ok
User :   free bar and everything
Doctor :   Ok
User :   im finished
User :   dont bother telling me that "stronest" tab dont worry just use normal thanks for your help i no im a troubled woman
Doctor :   I will be still waiting tomorrow.
User :   im so sorry i just get so angry
Doctor :   Thats ok
Doctor :   my timings are already up
Doctor :   I have to leave know
Doctor :   So I will be waiting tomorrow.
Doctor :   Bye for now
User :   im really not her tomorrow
User :   im out
Doctor :   I will still be waiting.
User :   might be on about 7pm dont know
Doctor :   Ok
User :   or 9am
Doctor :   will be waiting.
Doctor :   bye for now
User :   but going at 12ish and coming back bout 76.30
User :   6.30
Doctor :   Ok
Doctor :   bye
User :   your amazing person thanks
Doctor :   You are welcome
Doctor :   bye
User :   i dont want to go but i have to
User :   you have alot more "seriose" people
Doctor :   No
User :   yes you do, i would really want to no what you think of me though
Doctor :   I think that you would make it if you really try.
Doctor :   I am trying to get you there thats all.
Doctor :   bye for now
User :   i havent got the effort
Doctor :   Try
User :   i havent got the energy
Doctor :   i will be waiting tomorrow
Doctor :   bye
User :   its ok for you to say try but i see it in a total diffrent light
Doctor :   Yes i know
Doctor :   Ok
Doctor :   I really have to log out
Doctor :   will see you tomorrow.
Doctor :   bye
User :   maybe
Doctor :   bye for now
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