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Couple therapy of counseling - Online Doctor Chats

Date : 21-Feb-2012
User rating for this question
Very Good Posted in: Mental Health
Answered by

General & Family Physician
Practicing since : 2009
Answered : 681 Questions
User :   Hi My wife has issue as in she is not intrested in sex and she is giving some or other reason for not having sex. It is been 2 years now since we had a sexual relationship. We love each other however this is the only problem she has.
Doctor :   Hi
Doctor :   I am Dr. XXX
User :   Hi Dr.XXX
Doctor :   What are her reasons?
Doctor :   Pain during sex?
User :   No it is not pain during sex.
Doctor :   Ok
User :   She is not even letting me touch her and she is always off mood for sex. She never complained about pain so far. However she is giving different reasons everytime.
Doctor :   Can you type few examples of the reasons
User :   She really wants to have sex however she gets anxious when we get in to it.
Doctor :   You couple needs a good couple therapy
Doctor :   Both of you at the same time with a counsellor
Doctor :   Where the counsellor can tell the importance and essentialty of sexual intercourse
Doctor :   How it can increase the bondage between the couple
User :   We had a counselling session as well and the counsellor suggested her to just get in to sex and had a session of more than 2 hours with me and her.
User :   She was fine then but post the session also we tried and she was okay until some point post which she suddenly said she couldnt do it anymore.
Doctor :   Ok
Doctor :   How is the communication between yourself
User :   Also she tried a one on one counselling with a physciatrist and it also doesnt seem to work.
User :   Yes we do communicate well and we are comfortable with each other.
Doctor :   communicate with understanding and compassion
Doctor :   Do not place blame on her at all
Doctor :   express love for each other often
Doctor :   The counselling sessions should be an ongoing process for her
Doctor :   Try to do it very slowly
Doctor :   Do not try to have sex for the sake of getting counselled
User :   No I do not and I supported her through all this tough time and surely express love and exchange suprise gifts and we also go for outings quiet often
Doctor :   Let her realize that the issue is significant now
User :   Is it advisable to counsel with the same counsellor or different counsellor.
Doctor :   and should be improved
Doctor :   in a delicate, accepting and empathetic manner
Doctor :   of co operation
User :   Yes Doctor now she is accepting now and wants to do something about it.
Doctor :   Try to inculcate the importance of children, family and goodness of life after that
Doctor :   You should go to the same counsellor
Doctor :   It may take another 4 to 5 sessions
Doctor :   But do not cut it short
Doctor :   continue the sessions even after proper sexual intercourse is achieved
Doctor :   Desensitisation is needed
User :   Okay do we need to take a counselling with a trained counsellor or physciatrist?
Doctor :   trained psychologist
Doctor :   Which city are you in?
User :   Okay. We are fromXXX
Doctor :XXX
Doctor :   can be a good destination for you
User :   Okay great any idea how much will it costs us Doctor
Doctor :   Each session can go upto XXX rupees
User :   Is this institue in XXX - India?
Doctor :   yes
Doctor :   You can google it out
Doctor :   I think you will be able to get the address and directions
User :   Okay great I will try it doctor
Doctor :   Perfect
Doctor :   All the best
Doctor :   Thank you for consulting me
User :   thank you Doctor...
Doctor :   Do not worry, the importance of children
Doctor :   shall make her appease
Doctor :   try to show her movies which has importance about children and later family
Doctor :   This is my tip
User :   Sure will do Doctor... Thanks a lot...
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