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Counselling for sexual disorder - Online Doctor Chats

Date : 21-Feb-2012
User rating for this question
Very Good Posted in: Sexual Problems
Answered by

General & Family Physician
Practicing since : 2005
Answered : 2572 Questions
User :   Hi, may I answer your health quer
Doctor :   hi,
User :   hi dr
User :   actually I needed to chat with a psychologist
User :   for disussing some marital problems
Doctor :   I am a General Physician, I believe I can help you within my expertise and If required I shall recommend a specialist.
User :   ok
User :   actually I recently got married
Doctor :   And i do have experience in the field of marriage counseling
Doctor :   yes, please proceed
User :   and I have been having problems having intercourse with my wife
Doctor :   ok,
User :   well....basically I have lack of any attraction for her
User :   and that makes it very difficult
User :   I beleive part of the reason is that I have had an affair with a girl before
User :   whom I wanted to marry
Doctor :   ok,
User :   but due to family issues...caste differences and all....that did not work out
User :   now I got married to my wife...arranged marriage
User :   but I am facing lot of difficulty in even talking to her normally
Doctor :   i understand the situation
User : is not that she is not beautiful and all
User :   but there is a large difference in our education
User :   and thought process
Doctor :   ok,
User :   she comes from a small town and it is even difficult to hold a conversation wit her...beyond asking what came on television today
Doctor :   ok,
User :   i have no clue...what to do
User :   its not that I have not had intercourse before
User :   I had a close relationship with my gf
User :   but am not able to have the same with my wife
Doctor :   what characteristics and the things where you impressed in your old girl ?
Doctor :   apart from education
Doctor :   i mean the dressing the choices etc
User :   well....she was more attractive to me
User :   we could talk....discuss things
User :   I like being with her
User :   I liked
User :   *
Doctor :   Were you in love with her ?
User :   yeah
User :   it seems I still cant get over her thoughts
Doctor :   And is she engaged or alone now ?
User :   alone
User :   but dont know for sure
User :   we talked 4-5 months back
Doctor :   ok, Are you away from her or do you come across often ?
Doctor :   ok fine
User :   away from her
Doctor :   i would suggest you to create resemblances of your old gal in your wife now
Doctor :   and take her to the same places where you had your old gal
User :   hmm
User :   ok
Doctor :   experience the past again, may not be that impressing but you will find a contrast
Doctor :   you may like some presentations , fuel them
Doctor :   and you may dislike some , avoid them
User :   ok...
Doctor :   this is called contrast perception
Doctor :   it will help
Doctor :   but needs more attempts
Doctor :   slowly your wife too learns and tries to put her legs in the shoes without her knowledge
User :   hmmm...
User :   right
Doctor :   and other would be , by just remembering the bad attitudes of your old gal
Doctor :   and testing the same with the wife
Doctor :   if she impresses you you will be pulled
User :   yeah i tried this
User :   well...I think there could be some deeper problem with me too
User :   I have had some girlfriends in past
Doctor :   you do not have any problem
Doctor :   its a normal presentation what you have right now
User :   brb
Doctor :   i mean situation like this do make you think so
Doctor :   and do not keep any memory assets of your old girl
User :   yeah
User :   I dont have any memory assets
User :   well...with deeper problem I emant
User :   that I have created a barrier within myself
Doctor :   oh , i get it
User :   from accepting her
Doctor :   Did you try atleast
User :   I try sometimes.....but not enough
User :   but I definately try contrast perception you talked baout
User :   its slightly difficulty
User :   becuase we are now in hyderabad
User :   and I am from chandigarh
User :   dats where i had spent most of my time with my gf
Doctor :   not always the same place , create same situations
User :   hmm
Doctor :   as you proceed you will get more more ideas how to get her in old girls place
User :   ok....
Doctor :   you will be given positive strokes use them s as investment , reinstall same situations again and agian
Doctor :   and if she presents in a way you don like just forget and move to another , do not try it again even by mistake
User :   ok...
Doctor :   it will negetivate the good times exponentially
User :   yeah
User :   I will try doing that
Doctor :   try this and come back to with the results i will advice you how to amplify
User :   how do I contact you again
Doctor :   Ask for me , they will fix an appointment
User :   ok
Doctor :   is there anything else i can help you with ?
Doctor :   and one more advice
Doctor :   do not get into intimacy in the nights more , utilize the days you will see the difference
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