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Afraid of pain due to intercourse - Online Doctor Chats

Date : 13-Jan-2012
User rating for this question
Excellent Posted in: Mental Health
Answered by

General & Family Physician
Practicing since : 2004
Answered : 40 Questions
Doctor :   Hi
Doctor :   How can I help you?
User :   hi
User :   i am 29 yr old male
Doctor :   Ok
User :   i am married but not able to have intercourse with my wife as she is afraid of it
User :   please advice
User :   actually she is afraid of pain
Doctor :   Ok
Doctor :   I shall help you
Doctor :   and advice you on
User :   ok
Doctor :   Can I put you some questions
User :   yea
Doctor :   Since when is this problem you face?
User :   from last 3 months , after marriage
Doctor :   ok
Doctor :   Ok how many times did you try to intercourse yet
User :   many times but she never allows me as she is afraid of it
Doctor :   Is she afraid of the pain or some guilt
User :   of pain , i am sure for dat
Doctor :   Ok are you able to feel the wetness near her vagina
Doctor :   on putting finger
User :   yea
Doctor :   Do you feel the sizes of the organs are disproportinate
User :   not such , it seems normal
Doctor :   are you able to penetrate fully
Doctor :   yet
User :   she is afraid of pain
Doctor :   where is the pain
Doctor :   near the opening or at the back or inside the abdomen
User :   the pain that will occur during intercourse, by thinking of that,
User :   only her mental condition is not upto that level, rest is ok
User :   physical level is ok
Doctor :   ok is she allowing you to touch her private parts with the fingers
Doctor :   and are you performing the usual fore play?
User :   no
User :   i can access her whole body except vegina
Doctor :   Ok i think she is still not accepting the act called sex
Doctor :   she is afraid of it
User :   yea
Doctor :   and thus she is contracting her vaginal muscles
User :   this is the truth
Doctor :   and it increasingly painful for her
User :   yea
Doctor :   when you try to ask for sex
Doctor :   This condition is called Vaginismus
User :   ok
User :   any medicine for that
Doctor :   I probably think of other condition also called Vulvodyna
Doctor :   where the external part of vagina is very sensutive to touch
User :   what should i do now?pls help
Doctor :   Ok the vaginismus is highly treatable
Doctor :   but may not require a medicine though
User :   ok
Doctor :   You can use the Femgel to lubricate the vagina
Doctor :   and you can say that it is a medicine which reduces pain
Doctor :   actually this lubricates the vagina
Doctor :   But actually she needs some pelvic relaxation exercises, which are important
Doctor :   DId yu follow what I say?
User :   is there any medicine which i can use before intercourse to sexually arouse her and she doesnot feel the mental pressure
User :   of pain
Doctor :   not actually
Doctor :   In fact I wish to know her menstrual history too
Doctor :   does she have periods regualarly
User :   yea
User :   most of the times
Doctor :   how many days
User :   30 days
Doctor :   how many days is each cycle
Doctor :   and how many pads does she use?
Doctor :   What is her age
User :   5 days,
User :   daily one pad
User :   her age is 24 yrs
Doctor :   ok
Doctor :   any other menstrual problems like pain during those days
User :   little pain , often during cycle
Doctor :   ok
Doctor :   She needs relaxation techniques to be done
Doctor :   for quite some time
Doctor :   these are called kegel's exercises
Doctor :   it relaxes the muscles
Doctor :   and also takes care of the pain
User :   stil i am not successful in any intercourse after marrieage with her.
User :   it more than 3 months
Doctor :   I understand that
Doctor :   but you should have patience for this
User :   ok
Doctor :   Is she saying pain during urination
Doctor :   any fever?
User :   no
Doctor :   I probably feel that the exercises, graded dilation techniques help her relief of pain
User :   ok
Doctor :   and then you can go with the regular intercourse
User :   ok
User :   thanks
Doctor :   I also wish that you have to get a complete gynecological exam once
User :   ok
Doctor :   to rule out if there is nothing medically
Doctor :   causing the pain
User :   ok
Doctor :   The gynecologist shall examine
Doctor :   ask for few tests too
Doctor :   and also explain her the exercises
Doctor :   that I am saying
User :   ok
Doctor :   now
Doctor :   The thing that you have to tell her
Doctor :   She should explain that she has the pain during sex
Doctor :   and yet no complete intercourse
Doctor :   had happened
User :   ok
User :   it got it
Doctor :   Please do not hide any detail
User :   yea
Doctor :   meanwhile you have to counsel your wife
Doctor :   about the essentiality of relations
Doctor :   do not hurry in sex
User :   ok
Doctor :   how important is physical relation in building up the trust
Doctor :   She purely needs your support
Doctor :   now
User :   yea
Doctor :   later the gynecologist will tell her the exercises
Doctor :   and if needed the graded dilations
Doctor :   Please do not hurry, it takes lesser than the time you had waited yet
User :   ok
Doctor :   I can understand your situation
Doctor :   but you need to counsel her
Doctor :   first and get her examined
User :   yea i will do that
Doctor :   along with gynecologist counselling
Doctor :   I am sure you willhave a happy sexual life in very less time
User :   ok
Doctor :   Ok
Doctor :   Please get back to me if you ahve any other query
Doctor :   regarding this
User :   ok
Doctor :   or if you did not understand what the gynec
Doctor :   say
Doctor :   I can explain you clearly
Doctor :   giving you enough time
User :   ok i will get back to u
Doctor :   anything else I can help you with
Doctor :   Please fill the feedback form and say done when done.
User :   not now thanks
Doctor :   Did you fill the form
Doctor :   Please refer this service to your friends
User :   yea
Doctor :   Thanks for consulting healthcaremagic
Doctor :   Bye for now
User :   how i will be able to contact u again
Doctor :   You can ask for my name
Doctor :   as Dr.Mazumdar
Doctor :   If I am available I shall chat with you
User :   ok
Doctor :   if not you can take the time
User :   pls
Doctor :   from the doctor
Doctor :   who you chatted with
User :   ok
Doctor :   He will tell you what time I am available
Doctor :   oK
User :   ok bye
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