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14 years old child with anxiety, nervousness and anger. Any problem? - Online Doctor Chats

Date : 04-Jun-2013
User rating for this question
Very Good Posted in: Growth and Development in Children
Answered by

General & Family Physician
Practicing since : 2009
Answered : 983 Questions
User:Hi Doc, neede some advise on my 14 yr old daughter
Doctor:Good evening
Doctor:please proceed
User:Of late, actually last 6 months, she has become very nervous, unable to cope with her anxieities, unsettled, stubborn and tendency to cry
User:nervousness is more the way to describe her
Doctor:There seems a problem
Doctor:It is not good for a 14 year old girl to be this way
Doctor:Is she worried about studies?
User:yes, that's why i am worried
User:she is very worried about her academics at all toimes
User:In fact, she has developed a slight hunch in her posture also, which I think is on account of this nervousness only.
Doctor:You need to support her now
Doctor:Please make her calm down
User:yes, lead me he way
Doctor:Sit and talk to her
Doctor:Make her understand
Doctor:You need to be more friendly with your daughter now rather than being a parent
User:I keep doing my counselling with her regularly, but she gets hyper nervous.
User:i am worried abut her stooping so, it becomes very obvious when she is nervous.
Doctor:Then some one else from outside is scaring her or making her feel guilty
Doctor:Please talk to her friends and teachers as well
Doctor:You should act fast now
Doctor:Children do not open up later
Doctor:You may XXXXXXX her teachers as well
Doctor:Engage her in other activities
User:she is not very friendly with much children in this class as all her old friends are un diff sections
Doctor:Many kids have this problem
Doctor:Not to worry
Doctor:With support they can cope up
User:she was doing some guitar classes, bt skips thm in times of exam
Doctor:That is fine
Doctor:Please speak to her as and when possible
Doctor:Do not let her be alone
Doctor:Do not make her study more also
User:It is as if she is competing with herself all the time, trying to excel in her studis
Doctor:Engage her in other activities as well
User:Stude pressur is not from our end, it is arising out of hersel , as if she is trying to compete with herself.
Doctor:No, she is trying to compete with someone in class
User:Spoke to her teachers, but they recommended that we send her to school counsellor for sessions, which a teenager will never go for
Doctor:It is not that way, these days most students go to counselors
Doctor:They like to discuss their problem with them
Doctor:Please ask her to go for the sessions
Doctor:She can speak openly there
User:she refuses, it think its an ego issue if one walks into the school counsellor's room
Doctor:Probably, it is
Doctor:Let me tell you this
Doctor:As a mother, you are the best counsellor she can get
Doctor:If you try, you can help her
User:yes, I observe that she listens to me
Doctor:Please take her out to park, spend time alone with her
User:when I give her tips, she takes them
Doctor:A mother and daughter relation is wonderful
Doctor:She will learn from you
Doctor:Slowly she will get to know all the good things in life
Doctor:You have to be there for her
Doctor:These kind of adjustment disorders, if not treated early, are XXXXXXX
Doctor:Let her know that life is not all about studies
User:ok, yes, u can call it that
Doctor:but studies is important
Doctor:We need to get into their shoes and speak
Doctor:Children get it better then
Doctor:Don't lay rules
Doctor:Feel free with her
Doctor:she will do good soon
User:ok, but if I tell her to take a walk or a break, she wont listen and will not move away from her studies.
Doctor:In such case, you should intentionally give her some work to do
Doctor:May be, ask her to go and get clothes
Doctor:Go to shop
User:I am worried about her stoop also.....she is quite tall ...actually 5'5 or so
Doctor:You have another kid too?
User:yes, a younger son - 9 yrs
Doctor:That is good
Doctor:Don't make her feel that she is elder at home
User:that I do
Doctor:The cause for stoop is low self esteem
Doctor:You need to make her feel good
Doctor:Then it would go away
User:ok, becos we hv a joint family
User:with my in laws
User:How do I make her feel good? In what way?
Doctor:You need to appreciate the small things that she does
Doctor:Children get more happiness in that
Doctor:Appreciate whenever she studies
Doctor:The efforts should be seen and spoken about
Doctor:Get her small things that she likes
Doctor:Be more open
Doctor:Get her the clothes that she likes
Doctor:As a concerned mother, I know, you can do pretty much for your daughter
User:yes, I just want her to react normally.
User:Of late she has also developed a habit -- she starts shaking her leg / legs if she is nervous, which I've read is not a healthy sign
Doctor:She will be fine
User:What all do I need to do?
Doctor:Get her fasting thyroid profile done
Doctor:It may be the cause for shakiness
User:she is very thin also-- i forgot to mention, wud be around 38 kgs
Doctor:A routine blood test as well
Doctor:It is fine, don't worry about that
Doctor:I think she is norma;
Doctor:Eventually she will put on weight
Doctor:Is she menstruating?
User:HAd spoken to my ped also-- he had recommended some VitB test, am not sure on the name
Doctor:Yes, you can get that done too
Doctor:It is vitamin B12 assay
Doctor:Is that all?
Doctor:Do you have more queries?
Doctor:You can take her to the pediatrician and get these tests done
User:ok, I think I will try on the line mentioned by you.
User:Thanks so much for ur patience
Doctor:Thank you too
Doctor:Take care
Doctor:And take care of your daughter
Doctor:Let me know the progress
Doctor:Bye for now
User:yes, but how will u recall teh case the next time I login
Doctor:You can ask for me in the beginning of the chat
Doctor:I will surely remember because I feel you are a very concerned and beautiful mother
User:Oh thanks, that boosts my ego !!!
Doctor:God bless you too
Doctor:Take care
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