Did your dad pass away at home or was he in the hospital at the time? I do understand that this is difficult for you. I worked as a EMT for 8 years. Sometime when someone passes away, even if they were carried to the hospital, the doctor will have the coroner to legally declare the patient as deceased. If the heart doctor was not providing emergency care for your dad, he would not be responsible to sign the death certificate. Although if he is the attendin doctor at the time of death, he should have signed. It may be a legal issue. He may be trying to cover his butt. The way your dad passed is difficult to repair and is difficult to diagnose. Most of the time unfortunately it ruptures so quickly and the patient passes because it is almost impossible to respond to the loss of blood. If your dad had an autopsy then the coronor should have signed. The doctor that was to do the shoulder operation would not be responsible anyway.I really would talk with the doctor in question as to why he acted as he did. I am sorry for your loss. If you go ahead and ask the doctor, you would be able to move on with that part of closure. Dear Renee, After your added the additional information, I would like to share some thoughts with you. I cannot say I know how you feel, but I can understand how you may feel My dad was to have his gallbladder
removed. The surgeon operated two days before Christmas Eve in 1994. I felt that something was not right. It didnot add up to do surgery right before Christmas. After, his surgery, the doctor came out of the O.R. recovery room and informed my family that daddy had only 3 months to live. His cancer had grown so much there would be no treatment, only to allow him to do all the things that he could do physically and then he would also have his pain under contolHe died March 29, 1995. The reason behind this sharing is to let you know that all people grieve differently. I just lost it. I was so hurt that I went into a diassociative disoreder and went into the hospital. When my dad died I coulnot go to the funeral. Death of a loved one is terrible. I still grieve the loss of daddy but I have gotten to the point that I accept this and found closure. Some people will expect you to "go on with your life and get over it) try to ignor there ignorance or you may want to tell them, they donot understand what you are experiencing and to keep there advice to themselves. You seem to be holding quite a bit of anger . Evev if your mother had been at home, it would probably have made any difference in his life. If you can talk to your mom about how you think about that day and you donot understand why see left to go some place If you cannot ask her, write a letter to her, it would be up to you whether or not give it to her. I feel that your mom probably blames herself and says to herself, why did I leave, If I had been at home I could have done something" there really was not any life-saving care that would keep you dad. Please donot take this and become angry with my answer . I believe that you may be somewhat angry with your dad for leaving you and you also want to believe that he is alright now. That is something we ask. We want to know that his Spirit goes on. I wrote a letter to my dad. I told him how much I love him and miss him and add the things that you worry so much and you do not understand, why? Read it out loud. You may even want to read it at his resting place. Closure will come to you and you will grieve yourself until you can accept that he had to leave. You will always love him and miss him, but time will pass and you will feel better. There will be times when you can talk about him and remember the good times that you shared. Your faith will help you also. You may want to attend a group of people that are grieving. Some churches offer this in the community. You could also consider talking with a therapist to heelp you understand and get you through the hard times. If you cannot afford it, check with the crisis center and get help too. These people are very kind and understanding. I will ask you to take care when you have closure, you will feel better. It is my feeling that my daddy is my Guardian Angel. Much loving thoughts for you.