Thanks for writing in.
It seems you have a perineal muscle spasms which in your case seem to be caused by anxiety
. I would suggest that you take it easy and relax.
For the pain, you can apply a topical anesthetic
gel like lignocaine on the affected area. In addition, please see a gynaecologist who can use a Hegar's dilator to slowly dilate the vaginal opening ( if there is a narrowing as such).
I hope this helps.