Hi, i m a boy of 22 years old and an asian . My height is 5 feet and 5 inch , weight is 47 kg. I mustarbate from the age when i was 17. I do it everyday at the time of taking bath. In my mustarbate life , i was free from this only about 3 months . But now-a-days, however , i do it by watching porn movie and sometimes sexy nude girls. It is mentionable that i m suffering from various mental diseases . Sometimes i lose my memory , now i m fully unable to study deeply , i can remember nothing which i read or learn or write. It is important to inform u that i have been taking Lamitrin 50mg and sodium valproate 200mg. and lithium carbonate 400mg. for 2 years , according to a doctor . But though i m not taking it now and it is without the permission and advice of doctor . Sometimes i want to commit suicide , and sometimes die. I want to live alone , i do not have so many friends. I do not talk to the girls , though they do not talk to me also. I have lost my codifence about myself. I m in a confusion , weather i will stay in the world in a peace or abandon it as soon as possible. What should i do now , please advice me , and help me to live a happy life. Thank u .