Hi.. Welcome to HEALTHCARE MAGIC.. I have gone through your query and can understand your concerns.. As per your complain it seems that you have a perineal fissue and can be due to causes like vigorous vaginal intercourse,fungal infection, vigorous wiping,irritation and allergies etc. Tenderness in anus can be due to anal fissures, infection etc.. I would suggest you to consult a Gastroenterologist and get evaluated and a thorough clinical evaluation and investigations like anoscopy can help in diagnosis and treatment cab e done accordingly.. You can be advised to take stool softeners and laxatives and high fibre diet to ease in passage of stools and it will help in reducing pain during evacuation of bowels.. You can also be advised to apply emolliants to keep the area lubricated and relieve irritation.. In case of infection medications can be advised as per the cause like antifungls, antibiotics etc.. You can also be advised to apply steroid and numbing ointment to relieve pain and irritation.. In case of anal fissure ointment containing Calcium channel blocker like Diltizem and sitz bath, that is sitting in warm water tub can help.. Hope this information helps.. Thanks and regards. Dr.Honey Nandwani Arora..