Thanks for the query.
You seem to be most probably suffering from depression
, suicidal tendencies.It is better to undergo consultation by a Psychiatrist
.Some forms of therapy like Cognitive behavioral therapy
will help you overcome these problems.Even yoga, meditation
will also help you.Be surrounded by family, friends and positive people always.Everyone has problems and it how you deal with it that is important.Some become stronger after every difficulty they face, others break down.You cannot appreciate light if you have not seen darkness.So be positive in life always, whatever comes.