Hello Thanks for query. Based on the facts that you have posted you have problem of Erectile Dysfunction which is basically Psychogenic in nature . You along with your wife need to consult qualified Psychiatrist for evaluation and counseling . Following general measures will help you to improve your libido and to get good erection to have enjoyable sex . 1) Practice regular exercises for 45 minutes followed by meditation for 1/2 an hour every day morning. 2) Take high protein diet rich in fruits and vegetables and Vitamins A,,C,D,E and Zinc 3) Take anti oxidants like 5-6 almonds everyday 4) Avoid alcohol and smoking . Taking Sildenafil one hour before intercourse will help to get goo dhard erection to enjoy sex.