hi.thanks for writing. i have understood your concerns.. Childhood traumas and experience always affect the adult life. you are probably suffering from social anxiety disorder. there are medications available which treat your anxiety, but confidence for facing the authority and other people in social situation is difficult to bring by drugs. these all you shud have to learn and try on your own. there are drugs which controls anxiety for short period of time and shud be taken as and when required basis. In my opinion, you shud consult a psychiatrist and tell your problems. he will take detailed interview and ask you leading questions about your problems and what you think about it. You shud also think in your mind that what will happen when I will speak something nonsense in front of authority and others. the answer is nothing will happen.they may laugh. how long will they laugh? they will stop one day when they listen you talking without hesitation. I will also suggest you to go for psychotherapy and counselling, it will relieve your fear of speaking in front of others. I feel this will be helpful to you.best of luck..