Hi, welcome to HCM. Thanks for asking your query at this forum. We understand your concern. I have read your question carefully and understood it. I will try my best to answer it. As you told, you obtained the above mentioned psychotropics and used it for recreation purpose without any specific indication for many years. These medicines have high abuse potential and they are highly addictive. Apparently you got addicted to these drugs and now suffering from withdrawal discomfort. Let me explain this for you. The first medicine named Didrex (Benzphetamine) is a psychostimulant group of drug which may be prescribed for reducing appetite in obese persons. This drug produces a false sense of enhanced well being and overconfidence for some time. Apparently you might have like this effect after initial use and experimented again and again to have the same desired effect. As you reveal, you could obtain this prescription drug and regularly abused it without any significant indication. So, you had develop addiction of the drug. This drug causes insomnia, so to overcome this side effect you might be using Valium (Diazepam) and another strong sleeping pill daily. If the drug Didrex is not available to the body it experiences various withdrawal discomforts like mood swings, irritability, excessive sleep, restlessness, decreased energy, sadness of mood and anxiety and panic attacks. Apparently this is happening with you (as you mentioned experiencing severe depression and inability to get up from bed). These withdrawal symptoms mimic a depressive episode or an anxiety disorder and a history of sudden abstinence from prolonged, habitual and regular use of the drug is very helpful in diagnosis. Although you may not accept it but it is obvious that currently you are having strong craving for the substance (as you want back those prescription drugs). This further points towards dependence to these psychotropic medicines. I encourage you to honestly tell your doctor about your drug abuse habit and thus you may help him in reaching a correct diagnosis. Accordingly you may be put on a de-addiction therapy to cure this illness. Trying to get back those prescriptions is not a remedy of your situation as it may further push you on the path of dependence. I hope it answers your query. I wish you a better drug free life.