hi , am a 31 years old male . I have suffered multiple substance abuse for more than 7 years ( lorazepam tabs and ketamine injection - on and off course )

I have mood swinging ,, depressed most of the time ,, social phobia and sometimes panic,, and OCD ,,
I dont know what is wrong ... I have tried Quesel , Fluxetine, Cipralex. Lamotrigine, but no improvement.
with worse results
Any recommendations on what to try ?

My panic attacks and depressions go way back to elementary school and have at times been in remission, but they always come back. I do not have any highs , but I do seem to change from irritable and easily frustrated and enough energy to exercise for a few weeks to tired, depressed, anxious, and obsessively worrying for several weeks. My most difficult symptom is getting very frustrated and angry with myself--not thin enough, organized enough, etc. Maybe it's mixed episodes, I dont know. I can go from calm to sad in about 10 seconds.

My anger is always w/things and people. The ONLY reason I didn't do it was because that would be something one of my "crazy" relatives would do. This isn't normal. After years of dreading it, I think I'm having bipolar disorder if it means the right medicine can help me get on w/life. I appreciate any advice on treatment.