hi, thanks for writing, i have understood your concerns.. this is depression actually and you shud tell your feelings to your family and friends. whatever you have in mind is fear of being labeled as a psychiatric patient and called as mad.. but psychiatric illnesses are common and they are increasing due to increase in the stress people are facing nowadays..there shud be no shame and fear about this. the problems have increased and you are bothered with that.. if you have phases of happiness and sadness then you shud consult a psychiatrist because it can be a part of emerging bipolar depression and that is more dangerous than depression.. treatment can be done through drugs and conversation that is psychotherapy. but initially you have to take drugs. once the illness is controlled you can be maintained with therapy only. talk to family and friends and gather courage and visit a psychiatrist,,,that is the best i can suggest you.. i hope this will be helpful to you.. best of luck..