H, I'm a thirteen year old girl. I'm currently in the eighth grade. I'm here because I don't want to be taken to the doctor's or anything by my dad. I feel like I may be depressed but I'm not sure. I feel as if my dad were to know that I'm depressed(If I am) he might think I'm stupid for thinking such a thing. So point is, I think I might be depressed. I've been feeling really uninspired lately, and this would be like the fourth time in my life. I've been thinking about suicide a lot lately. Like I said, this wouldn't be the first time. The first time I felt like this I was in the fifth grade, and I was just really depressed for some reason. It may have been because my family was having a lot of problems, and my parents were fighting a lot. I started pinching myself a lot (I was in fifth grade I didn't know about anything, I was just hurting myself because it made me feel better). My family was in California at the time. We moved back to New Jersey and my parent's got divorced here, which wasn't a problem for me at all, I was completely fine with it, and I moved in with my dad. The next time was for no particular reason at all. I was just really bored with life, and I felt nothing, and like nothing. My dad is really overprotective so I'm not allowed to do anything. I just walk home from the bus stop which is two blocks away, and then I stay home all day. I only go to my friend's house on the weekends, and I never go outside during the week unless it's for school. I got over that depression because I liked this kid and I went out with him and yeah. He made me happy so I guess I got better. But I didn't like him anymore so I broke up with him or whatever. The next time was when I had a LOT of feelings for this one guy. I'm not sure if you could say I was "in love" with him because, well, I'm only 13 but it really felt like it. He had a girlfriend though but we had a really, really strong relationship. Something happened where we couldn't really talk and we started drifting apart. Like REALLY apart. I began getting all depressed and listening to all this depressing music, yada yada. And after that I felt like nothing and so unwanted and everything and I started hurting myself again. No one knows and I don't want to tell anyone 'cause I feel like they won't care, or they'll think I'm weak and stupid for hurting myself. But then I just started getting over it and I got better. But now it's happening again. I feel so trapped and I can't do anything and I really want to go out and chill with some friends or something. I'm not saying every day, but every once in a while. But my dad is so strict and it's really not fair. Okay now I'm just complaining and I know it's not necessary. But yeah. I just want to know, and I want help. Sorry if I wasted a lot of time with this really long thing. But can I have an opinion? Like, what do you think is wrong with me? Is it normal to feel like this?