hi, ashwini, i have understood your concern..so u have been dropped from studies consistently because of poor performances and now u are not able to get admission because of the high academic fees.. so these all things are bothering u from within and u feel stressed, u feel helpless and hopeless and because of all these thoughts u have feeling of ending your life.. these occurs in a patient of severe depression in which there are suicidal thoughts and ideations... you shud not follow your thinking about ending your life, always talk to somebody about your suicidal thoughts whenever it becomes excessive..tell this to your family and friends that u have been feeling depressed and wanted to end your life.. i ll suggest u to consult a psychiatrist and with counselling and antidepressant medications all your thoughts and symptoms will improve gradually..there are good antidepressant medications available now a days which help in relieving the depression.. i can suggest antidepressant medications as under: tab. sertraline [50 mg] once at night. increase the dose to 100 mg once at night after 10 days. u can go upto 200 mg in a day.. tab. zolfresh [10] at bed time if u have sleep problems.. tab. lonazep [0.25 mg] twice a day, if u have significant anxiety symptoms.. continue medications for atleast 8 months and do not stop suddenly, without the advice of psychiatrist.. i hope this advice will be helpful to you.. best luck..