I can feel your pain in your words. I am sorry that you have not had any betterment in all this time. It is important to understand that eating disorders are really not a problem of control over food; they are problems with control over one’s emotions. You seem to possibly have a variety of external and internal conflicts, unhappiness, stress and a sensation of loss of control. The number of therapists, variety of medication and statistics of hospitalization do indicate the severity of your condition. At the same time it is important to find the appropriate fit between your therapist and you. It is also extremely essential for you to follow the structured therapy protocols. It is difficult for me to comment on what form of psychotherapy or medication will work best for you because I do not have details about your emotional and thought process at this moment. But I sincerely advise you to meet a professional who can understand your thought process in depth and help you identify ways in which you can help yourself. In spite of all the expertise in the medical field and development in the behavioral health arena, remember one thing: The first and most important step towards self betterment is the will to want to change from your current state. It will be painful but you have to change how you think and fight the negative emotions from within. External help will give you the direction but you have to push the pedal yourself. Take that positive step for yourself because this is your life and you have to be in charge. Help is always available, if only you reach out and use that help rightly. Do write in whenever you need further guidance. Regards, Dr. Shefali Batra Founder MINDFRAMES www.mindframes.co.in