welcome to health care magic
you are probably suffering from "Major Depressive disorder". Since you have suicidal thoughts coming, so don't wait for anything and consult a psychiatrist
for proper diagnosis and treatment. There are wide variety of treatment options like Antidepressants, Cognitive Behaviour Therapy
(CBT) and ECT (Electro Convulsive Therapy) and all are effective ones. So don't worry and get consultation asap.
Wish you good health