I am a 29 yr old female. I have been suffering from this most of my life. i feel like i have no control over my emotions. when i am upset, i want to think logically but i can t seem to get to that part of my mind because my emotions take control of me. often when i feel wronged in some way, or nervous in a tough situation, i shut down because either i know i will react badly or somehow i feel like i caused it and end up beating myself up about where i failed. i feel very defensive around people. i am afraid of many social settings because i feel like i may overreact or not react at all. sort of like i m constantly in survival mode. situations that other people can handle, i cannot. even when i m very happy sometimes i feel like i have no control of that either. I constantly feel like i have to protect myself and have a difficult time processing things. sometime is takes me hours or days to understand what just happened in a situation. sometimes i relive it over and over to see if there was a better way to handle it, and often wonder why i couldn t get to that solution in the first place. (i am speaking of conflicts). as a child i did suffer abuse (physical, mental , emotional and sexual) and abandonment. i have been in foster care and my parents went to jail for drugs and child abuse . I was diagnosed with ptsd and major depressive disorder . tried medication but it seemed to destroy my inner drive to be rpoductive. I have tried stress mgt, anger mgt, and positive thinking(which helped some) but i cannot seem to shake the feelings of being overwhelmed. most people tell me i m a walking miracle for what i have been through, but i feel inadequate still. often i talk to people about problems i encounter because i can t figure out how to deal with it. it ends up becoming an obsession, and almost always ends badly. it s depressing me (sometimes i can t sleep, eat, concentrate, enjoy my life, etc) and it has ruined many things for me. is there any help for me? or am i never going to be right?