Hello dear and welcome to HCM,
A traumatic perforation of the ear if treated properly at the acute stage would rarely require surgery. But it is unfortunate in your case that the perforation has not healed properly and all the symptoms you mentioned are a direct result of the perforation and subsequent infection.
Since you are hearing sound then I assume that it is tinnitus
and your nerves are getting weaker.
Taking all the above into consideration, you should understand that the only way a hole anywhere in the drum can be cured is by surgery and by no other medications as the waiting period of traumatic perforation is around three months.
It is a minor surgery and you should definitely realize that it offers you a permanent cure against future infection, closes the drum and improves hearing.
I would request you to please do not waste much time and go for the surgery as soon as possible. I have done this surgery even in young kids so there is nothing to be worried about. If you wait and you get recurrent infection then the nerves become more and more weak.
Hoping you would consider surgery for your own sake
Dr Sriram Nathan